12. Haley Purvis: Emotions into Art, Sharing Vulnerably, & The Resilience of the Cactus

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“ It's the understatement of the century to say that life is a miracle…And creating is my way of saying thank you”.  In this episode, Quincee dives into a deep and intimate conversation with Haley Purvis, a multidisciplinary artist based in Minneapolis. Guided by soulful sensitivity and a love of color, Haley translates emotion into sensory experiences through movement, language, film, and paint. Her work explores the quiet intelligence of nature, feelings, and the transformative power of creative expression. The episode discusses Haley's creative journey, the significance of her work, and her thoughts on life, art, and spirituality. Highlights include Haley's meditation on the resilience of the cactus, her process of stepping away from traditional social media, and her desire to create immersive, intentional art experiences. The conversation also delves into themes of vulnerability, authenticity, and the importance of connection and community in the artistic process.

00:00 Introduction to the Vision Seed Podcast

00:30 Meet Haley Purvis: A Multidisciplinary Artist

01:17 Generating Creative Energy

05:59 Exploring Artistic Beginnings

08:51 Navigating Emotional Expression Through Art

24:33 The Intersection of Art and Vulnerability

35:18 The Healing Power of Sharing

41:15 Reflecting on Awareness and the Void

42:25 The Art of Everyday Life

45:01 The Power of Honesty in Relationships

55:24 Exploring Vision and Intuition

56:24 Manifesting Dreams and Desires

01:08:25 The Essence of Creation and Gratitude

01:09:58 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell

• Transcript

  Haley - 5:30:25, 12.24

  [00:00:00] Welcome to the Vision Seed Podcast, where we gather in the dark beneath the soil with an luminous void from which all creation blooms without our sense of sight. We explore the alchemy of the creative process through intimate conversations with artists and visionaries. Together we embrace the mystery and infinite potential of the unknown.

  This is a space to honor the whisper of inspiration in the dance within the blackness that births creative magic. Let's journey into the void.

  Haley Purvis is a multidisciplinary artist based in Minneapolis, guided by soulful sensitivity and love of color. She translates emotion into sensory experience through her movement, language, film, and paint.

  Her work explores the quiet intelligence of nature, feelings, and the transformative power of creative expression. Her most recent short film meditates on the enduring spirit of the cactus, offering a poetic reflection on resilience and the quiet reservoirs that sustain us [00:01:00] through arid seasons.

  With Haley currently attempting a hiatus from traditional forms of social media, this episode offers a rare peek into the layered interior of an artist, a woman who moves through the world, guided by beauty, in touch with pain, and maintaining an ever blazing reverence for that which is unseen.

  Haley: We will join the hands at heart center and just begin to rub the palms back and forth to generate a little bit of heat and maybe a little faster, a little faster.

  And pause. Hold the hands an inch apart and recognizing this effervescence is the base energy through which and with which all of your creative endeavors come into form.

  And then just scanning the body gently, embracing with the awareness, the area of most sensation in this moment.

  And once you've arrived there, zooming [00:02:00] in a bit.

  Asking that area, that sensation for a little bit of information, maybe trying to discern the color, the texture, the form. Maybe there's a sound or a motion. Maybe a word,

  and when you feel like you've collected something, we can start with that. Share a little bit about what is happening. My awareness went to my tongue. I'm currently with my tongue and the texture is maybe heavy. It's a heaviness, [00:03:00] and I think the word is saturated. Um, yeah. I think what comes to mind is a desire to be.

  Intentional with my word selection and how sometimes less is more.

  Quincee: I love that as a starting point, and I would love to yeah, help carry that intention of clarity and of something that someone once told me that brevity with the word is an act of love. Um, that clarity is loving. Yeah. I'm, I'm excited to be invited into that this evening. Um, and a saturated tongue is a good place to start for a podcast

  Haley: [00:04:00] to wet the palate.

  So to see.

  I

  Quincee: wanted to ask quickly how your. Uh, both somatically and mentally adjusting to the darkness. I've found that in the last few episodes and with a couple of guests in particular, they've noticed some like strange sensations of expanding or contracting or feeling like they're moving through space. I just wanted to touch in and see like how it's feeling to be in this void right now.

  Haley: Hmm. What a nice question. I feel very at peace and at home. I think, um, I guess I didn't notice too much of a shift until the question was asked and yeah, I feel warm. I feel still good. I'm glad. How you doing over there in the dark? Yeah. Yeah. Good. [00:05:00] Yeah. I don't feel like I'm moving. Good. Yeah. Yeah.

  I'm smiling though.

  Me too. I love having to say that it's, it feels really, it amplifies the effect of the smile to have to say, I'm smiling. You know when you're on the phone with someone or you're in a situation like this where you can't see each other, but you can feel that the other person's smiling.

  A

  Quincee: hundred percent.

  I love that. So we're gonna come first to the root, and you can conjure to mind this deep red color at the lowest part of the spine can even imagine the center vortexing clockwise down and into the earth like a corkscrew. Just further anchoring and. In this [00:06:00] center, I'm really curious about exploring questions about your history as an artist, and I wanna ask specifically if there's a defining moment where you knew that art was going to be a big part of your life, or if you wanted to share about your childhood connection to art and how that's evolved over time.

  Wherever you wanna dive in with this center.

  I remember when I was about 20 years old, I saw a photograph of myself as a five or 6-year-old, and I was on the deck and I was wearing a painter's smock, and I was covered in all of the colors of the rainbow. And I was painting, , a rainbow on this canvas, an easel. And I remember looking at that photo when I was 20 and thinking, oh, [00:07:00] so I've, I've been an artist for a long time.

  I think the word artist is one that I've felt very comfortable with for my entire life. Um, I, I don't feel like I had many blocks. Um, to claiming that, um, I, I think it really began to blossom and bloom when I was in university and I was navigating feelings of separateness or difference from others, which I think is a very common theme for 19 year olds and 18 year olds to feel.

  And as a way to work through some of that feeling of separateness. I would paint, I would do weird, wacky photo shoots. I [00:08:00] would make music, I would dance. Um, I was always finding different ways of creating. And during that season of my life, a lot of my art had kind of a darker twist to it. Um, so I was drawing.

  You know, images of skulls or a photo shoot where my friends and I made, made me into a three-headed like monster. And I was reading the newspaper and we set the newspaper on fire and that was part of the photo shoot. And I think a lot of my work was kind of emotional and dark and angsty and a lot of feelings of being misunderstood.

  Um, yeah, I think going way back to the younger years of my childhood [00:09:00] and around 10, 15, all the way up to 21, I, at a very young age was put into therapy and psychiatric care and I was told by a lot of adults. That in order to be normal and optimal, I would have to take medications. So that looked like everything from Adderall for my attention difficulty, my difficulty focusing as well as antidepressants and mood stabilizers for my, um, emotional effective instability, let's say.

  And I think just being told at such a young age that I needed something external, like a pill every single day [00:10:00] to be quote unquote normal or to appease the adults in my life, um, I really took that to heart and I decided to. Go off of that medication when I was 21 years old, just around my 21st birthday.

  And I had this sort of epiphany that while, you know, in America when you turn 21, you go to the bar and have your first legal drink, um, and for the first time you're legally, you know, not sober. And I think on my 21st birthday, I had this epiphany that I had never consciously known my brain soberly. I'd always been on some combination of medication.

  And I decided that I was done. So I quit all psychiatric medication when I was 21. Stopped taking Adderall, stopped taking [00:11:00] everything I am now. 10 years later, I'm still not on anything. And definitely more grounded and happy than ever. Um. And yeah, I think I have a lot of compassion for my parents choosing that path.

  For me, I was definitely an emotional child and I've also learned how to express and direct my emotional energy through art and movement and prayer. And I'm now in, yeah, this grounded state. So I think through that process of becoming myself, uh, the word artist just sort floated into my field and made me feel, hey, that this is something, mm, I had [00:12:00] this beautiful image as you were speaking of your artistry and your turning towards these creative projects almost as a raft out of.

  This sort of medicated state and into one that was more honest and sober. Hmm. Um, I don't know if that resonates with you and feel free to tell me if it doesn't, but I love you. That definitely resonates and that, that's just a beautiful, I feel very understood with that image. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a lifeline.

  Yeah. And, um, where there's, there are big feelings. Maybe thoughts are very slow or very rapid. Um, making all of these different connections, noticing how [00:13:00] everything is.

  Somehow this

  we, uh, share with the world being born from that deep knowing, just more and more every year that we're alive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. So beautiful. I'm curious if as we move into that sacral with a little bit more intention, if there's anything that feels. Like it wants to be shared in terms of the connections between the sensual and your art or like where you are finding pleasure creatively right now?

  Hmm. Yeah. So my teacher said something today. His name is Mark Whitwell, [00:14:00] and when he said this I just, I have been thinking about it in the back of my head all day and he said, yogis are free of pleasure and free of pain. And I thought about that and he kind of went on to say that we don't need to drown ourselves in pleasure to escape pain.

  And something about that felt really true to me. Um, Quincy, I have never been in this state in my life, but these days I don't know if I'm feeling like a ton of pleasure. Mm-hmm. I feel peace. I feel stillness, I feel content. And it's not this [00:15:00] like ravishing all encompassing, like disorienting, delicious state of pleasure that I have definitely embodied in my life.

  But, um, I wouldn't say my art is bringing me an immense amount of pleasure in this season of my life. And yeah, it's something I've been sitting with. And just slowly like accepting and observing. And I, I'm certain that there will be seasons where I'm like, ravished yet again. But ultimately it's, it's contentment and stability that my art is ringing me.

  This is such a refreshing perspective for me. I, I think that so much of certainly my own suffering, and I would [00:16:00] venture to guess most suffering is this chasing of pleasure and avoidance of pain, right? This is, I mean, pretty classical Buddhist psychology, which is something that I really love that we can like overlap on talking about this like.

  Suffering coming from averting our gaze from pain and towards pleasure. Right. And, um, I think there's almost nothing more noble or more, um, desirable in fact than, than residing in that place of peace and contentment. I'm, yeah, I'm hoping that by knowing you, I can walk closer to that too and like appreciate you modeling that.

  And certainly, of course. I think it's both. And I [00:17:00] think there's also this, what the Sufis talk about when they almost desire this state of foolish intoxication for the beloved, for the one, right? Like roomies poetry is really alive with that. Um, so certainly both are true and, and I hope to be able to hold both.

  I hope to be able to hold that piece is the most valuable state. And also that when this, when this dizzying intoxication for the creating and for the creator and for the created comes through that I can hold that within a container of, of equanimity and peace. Yes. Also, and drink it up . There's this Japanese man whose name I do not remember, [00:18:00] and he for many, many years has been practicing the art of dying silk with plant fibers. And there was an interview. Um, so he labors all day and all night, season after season, just dying silk, these beautiful natural colors.

  An interviewer asked, um, you know, what inspired him to do this or kind of how he got started on this. And he answered with one sentence and he said, the plants produce the most beautiful colors. That's the one and only reason I do what I do, and I have, I've, I just appreciated the simplicity in that.

  Now I'm over here holding my heart, like wondering

  and genuinely [00:19:00] asking with my yeah, eyes towards. Towards the sky. How can I, how can I make this a more simple experience? Um, I think of course we're living in a time in history where it's more and more faster and faster every single day. And the rebellion of turning towards one's garden of saying no to plans of walking to the grocery store, of walking to pottery class is like, yeah.

  Of turning off the phone of saying what I said today, which is actually, I think I'm going to keep my planner in my to-do list all on paper from here on out is really, it's needed because our piece is precious. Our time is precious and. More and more of it [00:20:00] is being asked and absorbed into the screen and into the density of our digital experience.

  Um, yeah. Which is, which is something that I know you know about, and yeah. I honor the rebellion of your peace. Mm, indeed. Yeah. Yeah. You have a very beautiful poetic way of expressing. .

  Haley: I'm getting rid of my, my notes app to-do list, I think starting tomorrow and this, this whole thing, I've been wanting to like, create better digital systems, and I think that right now that that is, that is not what is going to bring me joy.

  Have you been feeling like having your to-do list on your phone is maybe clogging your mental space or, or what's kind of. Inspiring you to go to paper.

  Quincee: What's inspiring me to go to paper is having a tactile sense of [00:21:00] what is on my plate, um, and is not having to rely on, I just wanna keep as many things off screen as I possibly can.

  Yeah. Like I am inevitably, I'm having to edit this podcast on my laptop and share this podcast on my laptop and share all the other many things I'm doing on my phone, on my computer. And yeah, I'm just, I'm feeling called to keep as many things physical and sacred as possible. And writing with my pen on paper feels loving and sacred and gentle and physical, and I get a lot of pleasure out of it actually,

  Haley: maybe you'll be able to have a more felt sense of your capacity for all these tasks. I think when we write on our phone, it's like, okay, I can probably get all [00:22:00] of that done tomorrow. It's true tracks every day almost.

  Quincee: My, my perception of what I'm able to get done and what I can actually achievably get done is are two very different things.

  Um, but yeah, I feel like naturally, like we're, we're kind of shifting into the more practical or young energies and that's, that's bringing us into the solar plexus. So let's just go ahead and focus on that center of the body and even placing a supportive hand on the belly. And in this space, we're concerned with ideas of power.

  Of identity, of claiming, of stepping in, stepping up, sharing radiance. Right now, I'd love to get a [00:23:00] sense of two things. The first being maybe something that's feeling crunchier challenging with art and with approaching art. Something that's maybe feeling vulnerable with approaching art, and then something that's feeling really open and really

  alive. And it's calling to you.

  And just the purpose of this is to feel that contrast in your body, like with hand on on belly, maybe hand on heart, like. The felt difference between that which is feeling vulnerable and and challenging versus that which is feeling expansive and opening and tuning the gut instinct a little.

  Mm. Okay. I think I have a different somatic feeling [00:24:00] for the word vulnerable that I do the word challenging.

  Mm. They

  seem to be vastly different questions to me. And what the vulnerable about my art feels almost like a secret. It feels like a secret to me. And I'm gonna take a pause on that question, and I do have the intention to circle back to it, but I'll start with what's challenging.

  Hmm.

  Haley: I think what's challenging is

  I have a desire to curate almost every detail of this immersive art experience to properly [00:25:00] share my work with people I love, with strangers, with my family. Um, I have experience bringing an existing project that I've made and sharing it in a collective space where many artists are coming together and, um, sharing their work alongside mine.

  And that's been very beautiful and I love the community aspect of that. And there have been times where I haven't felt like. The art that I'm creating, the work that I'm doing is as deeply received because the setting is more of a broadband frequency.

  Quincee: Hmm.

  Haley: And I have this deep desire to create an immersive experience from head to toe where I'm [00:26:00] designing the space and the atmosphere, the sonic component, visual component, um, maybe the beverages and hors d'oeuvres that are served the flow of the evening, and really wanting to create this ethereal, otherworldly, womb like cocoon to show my work.

  And to share vulnerably about what inspired my work. I think the most vulnerable aspect of making art for me is talking about it and you know, like we touched on earlier, either in the sacral or the root chakra. Um, very big [00:27:00] emotions being channeled into the pieces that I create over sometimes years. And, um, I think I kind of default to allowing my work to speak for itself and not wanting to add too much more detail or context, um, and allowing the art to just move the viewer and the observer uniquely and.

  Something inside of me is saying it would be good to share my journey and the emotional process that I, the artist was navigating when creating a specific piece. Um, yeah. And touching on the depth of that experience, [00:28:00] you know, definitely brings up like heat in my cheeks and this strain behind my eyes and feeling maybe my throat closing up a little bit because yeah, it's quite vulnerable to, to, to touch on, I think the depth of.

  Of fear. I think we made a, a joke earlier that your paintings are beautiful, but you're scared the whole time. And that's funny. Right. And then when we're also deeply present with, with that fear or that pain or whatever emotion might be a little heavier than the joyous ones, um, can get quite real. Yeah.

  Yeah. It's, it's quite real. So how to express that feels, feels like an edge to me. Um, and okay, so that was the [00:29:00] vulnerability part and then the challenging part

  I

  Quincee: just so appreciate you pulling those two apart. Hmm. Um, that feels really helpful. Yeah. For me as well. Like that vulnerability and challenge.

  While they might be tangled up with one another, they're separate concepts.

  Haley: There's one other thing I wanna say about the previous one. I think an example of what I am kind of touching on with, um, the fear of, I.

  Uh, vulnerability and how difficult that can sometimes be. I spent a year creating this short film. Um, film is also something I do forgot to mention that, but yeah, I created this short film and there were so many different renditions and versions of it, and I was, um, discussing the resilience of the cactus and how the cactus is [00:30:00] similar to the human spirit and we can endure, endure, endure incredibly harsh conditions by nourishing ourselves from this reservoir of hydration and hope and water from within.

  And I worked tirelessly on this project and I was so excited to share it. And the night comes and I know exactly what I'm gonna say, and I'm wearing a beautiful outfit and I feel. Very in my elements. And then as soon as the screening of my video is done and the mc hands me the microphone and I realize I'm gonna have to share something super vulnerable about what inspired the film.

  I just cried into the microphone and the audience was so sweet and supportive. It was an audience [00:31:00] largely of men, and they held me so graciously and

  wow. I'm

  really grateful for them. Uh, they just encouraged me and clapped and snapped and, you know, one man yelled out like, you got it.

  Quincee: It's beautiful.

  Haley: Yeah, it was.

  And so I tried to collect myself. I took a deep breath and I hold the microphone back up and I just cry harder. Yeah. That's so awesome.

  And at that, what

  Haley: else is there to say? Yeah.

  Yeah. And at that point, I, I felt embarrassed. I was like, okay, this

  Haley: is not the most poetic, beautiful thing I had planned, but I just kind of strung some words together and yeah.

  And I said my thank yous and I rushed off the stage and I just like cried so hard. [00:32:00] Um, and I'm, I'm lucky that I had a few friends in the audience, so they came and hugged me and told me I did a good job, but I was having such a intense somatic reaction. And I was shaking and crying and like feeling ashamed.

  I was feeling so embarrassed and exposed and ashamed. And Quincy, I had an emotional hangover. For three days after that, I could, couldn't really eat very much. I was having a hard time getting out of bed. And maybe someone listening to this is thinking I'm highly dramatic, which is true, but

  Quincee: yeah.

  Haley: Yeah.

  Love it. And then after those three days, I felt so good. I felt completely reborn. It was exactly what I needed to do. I needed to

  Quincee: wow Hailey

  Haley: to work and toil and labor on that film, and then share it and have it not go according to plan and [00:33:00] sit with the emotions and the shame and the, the, the pain that came up from that.

  And then it was released. So that's definitely an edge for me sharing about my work. And I'd be, it would be dishonest of me to say that I'm not kind of tensely anticipating. Maybe the next time I share a short film or have an art gathering. However, I do think that if I'm also cultivating the space with intention and I am familiar with the textures in the room and the sounds in the room, and I know the brand of incense that I lit and all of these details are, are chosen intentionally by me, I will be able to, you know, share from a deeper place and hopefully, ultimately inspire [00:34:00] others in the space to share from that same level of depth and we can all kind of commune in that space together.

  Mm-hmm.

  Quincee: That's a beautiful

  intention, really is. Yeah. I'm really. I'm just feeling really glad that you were in a supportive space for that moment to unfold the way that it did and that it fell on, on a crowd that was compassionate and yeah, I think, I know you said something to the effect of, well maybe someone listening to this is gonna think I'm highly dramatic.

  I also think there will probably be someone listening to this who not only gets it, but was just provided language for something that they needed language for. And [00:35:00] um, this is an aside, but this is why I think podcasting can be this deeply healing form of media and why I think that there. Is medicine in this form of sharing because we are given these windows into conversations that we wouldn't normally be given windows into.

  And within those windows, we glimpses new ways of holding and relating to and naming our own experiences. I certainly know that podcasts have had that power for me in my life, and it's my in intention in my prayer that this does that for one person, even one person. And I [00:36:00] know I shared this in my episode with Hannah too, but I genuinely want to state that again, if it helps one person find language that they didn't have at the beginning of the hour, then we've done our job and you and I can.

  Turn off this microphone, close up shop and go eat some pasta and like feel deeply satisfied that we've done something marginally good for one person. Like, I love that feeling. Um, so I hope that Yeah, I can share that with you too in this moment. Yeah.

  Haley: That is just fully received. Yeah. That is so beautiful.

  And that is, you know, that is like the best we can do for anyone. Just one person. One person.

  Quincee: That bird outside is so beautiful. I don't know if it's audible, but there's such a beautiful bird outside of our door, and its [00:37:00] song is really so sweet. Um, um, we're undoubtedly in the space of the heart already when it comes to sharing about that, which I devote this medium and this expression, this podcast too.

  Um, I wanna hear a little bit more from you about what your art is dedicated to and devoted to, and

  what are you saying I love you to, through creating your work? I've never phrased that question this way. What are you stretching a hand out to?

  Haley: I am definitely saying I love you to my life. I am saying I love you to God. I'm saying I love you to my mother. I'm saying I love you to my [00:38:00] life.

  I love my life. Creating art is a way to express the love of life. It's an absolute,

  like, it's the understatement of the century to say that life is a miracle, and the fact that we're able to experience any of this at all is so profoundly magnificent, and I love it. And creating is my way of saying thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to be aware of anything.

  Quincee: Hmm.

  Haley: Thank you to a God who sees so much farther than me to a creator who [00:39:00] is infinitely more of an artist than I. Um, yeah. I'm saying thank you to the mundane. I'm saying thank you to the erotic. I'm saying thank you to the abyss. Hmm.

  Yeah. I'm saying I, I love you. To me.

  Quincee: Hmm.

  Haley: I'm saying I love you. To you, Quincy,

  Quincee: stop. Don't

  Haley: make me cry in my eye. Now again, this keeps happening. Really, Hailey and I, you know, the most beautiful aspect of knowing other people is like this, almost unspeakable it. It, it exists beyond language, but [00:40:00] it's their, their effervescence, their essence.

  It's their unique style or the way that they move their body or how they float or glide or maneuver in this physical space. It's the color palette that they're drawn to. It's. The kind of tea that they drink and the music that they listen to when they want to cry. It's like all these tiny minute, like unrepeatable irreplaceable details about a human that is so inherently artistic and beautiful.

  And I feel like all of it. All of it, absolutely. All of it is in devotion to God. It's really just all goes back to God. Oh

  yeah. I feel as though, yeah, we can end it there. [00:41:00] And there's so much to unpack in what you just said. Um,

  specifically just that I, I mean, I would, I would like to zoom in on. The fact that we can be aware at all and this love for the void, I think that that's really, that just deeply, deeply resonates with me. And, um, gosh, there's so much, there's so much to say about what you just said and I kind of just wanna let it stand for itself.

  I, I really have nothing to add there. Hmm. Um,

  maybe we could do a moment of silence that could be kind of nice. I feel like that encapsulates the void best.

  Quincee: [00:42:00] Hmm.

  Yeah.

  Mm.

  I think there's something, to be

  sad about

  turning on people's awareness to the fact that the tapestry of their life and how they move throughout their day is a creative act and is an art form that I wanna just highlight from what you shared, that if someone is listening to this, we can invite them into remembrance that the way that they move through their day, the music that they choose to listen to, as you said, when they're crying.

  The way that they move through space. All of these little details [00:43:00] about them, they are the art of that person. And I think when we begin to look at things that way, when we begin to open up our definition of what is art, we're in a position to more clearly witness ourselves and more fully love ourselves.

  Haley: There's also something to be said about.

  The rawness of art, bringing friends together and we need each other.

  And if we can connect and come together through shared appreciation of creation of art, [00:44:00] we can soften in each other's presence and enjoy ourselves And yeah, share in friendship. I think

  that's so powerful. Yeah. Yeah. To to, to be real about. It's grief and yeah, loss and, and death and fear and maybe that sense of not knowing and to come together and be friends over it.

  Quincee: The word that's flashing inside of my mind and body is just honesty. Honesty, honesty. Honesty.

  Haley: It's a good word. Very good word.

  Quincee: I think it's, it just feels particularly salient [00:45:00] with you, like, and I feel my throat just like melting and, and expanding just because I, I feel like.

  I, I don't know whether we get into it now or not, or whether this is a part of the podcast or not, but just having, having had a moment where I witnessed like, and met a really deep part of you and like we had,

  we navigated that, like we navigated our big challenge relationally. And

  I don't know, I feel,

  I feel that it, like all the while was drawing us closer, even though we couldn't see that in the moment.

  I'm noticing, I feel like really emotional. Okay. About You wanna hold my hand? Yeah.

  Hmm. [00:46:00] Thank you. That feels really nice.

  Yeah.

  All I have to say is that I'm grateful to be cultivating honesty with you and

  that we have touched rawness with one another and now it feels natural and easy and comfortable. It's as if we like set an anchor in like a really deep, deep, deep bay. Of Yeah. Yeah. Deep and rocky and like challenging. And now we're, and the word buoyant on that, the word that comes to me is primal. It felt like we totally, that's it went to this very primal place.

  And

  I love that imagery of like, buoyant, you know, floating on that and, and anchoring in that. There's a lot of beauty in, in doing that. And I did know, personally, I knew in the [00:47:00] moment that it was bringing us closer. You didn't tell me. Damn.

  Haley: But I, I also noticed a question.

  Um, I'm curious what honesty is to you?

  Like, what is, what is honesty? I think honesty is a buzzword that. You know, we say, and then everyone agrees that it's a good thing,

  and

  can we maybe go a layer deeper with, with what honesty truly is or isn't?

  Quincee: Hmm.

  It's sharing what's alive

  despite of whether it's challenging or, or not. I think it's the sharing

  raw, momentary.

  Hmm.

  And trusting that it's gonna be okay, that [00:48:00] you will share what is alive. And this comes back full circle to the ferry conversation. We started with, not on this podcast, but moments before we started recording, you had asked why I, why sometimes I people please. Because we were talking about the concept of people pleasing and it, it was very simple.

  The answer was not to be abandoned, not to be left behind. And I think honesty is kind of the inverse of that. People pleasing.

  Mm.

  Haley: Sharing without, without that fear of distorting, without distorting in order to please or to protect [00:49:00] oneself,

  maybe you have another layer. I, I sense you have another piece of this puzzle.

  Quincee: Hmm

  hmm.

  Haley: Yeah. Sharing without that fear feels super resonant. And I feel another like dimension of honesty is not hiding from yourself and not hiding from. , What's inside of you? You know, no matter mm-hmm. If you're, if you think that it's, uh, maybe negative or if you're afraid of it. Um, there's a certain,

  I think there's a certain dimension of honesty that requires us to look, look within our own eyes, look in the mirror, and not, uh, hide and meet these parts [00:50:00] of ourself and embrace them, observe them. I feel like another dimension of honesty, which is. Maybe like more of a widely kind of accepted definition is, um,

  not lying to another individual with the intention of warping or manipulating their reality to better serve you. Um, I think dishonesty arises because of fear. Mm-hmm. We're afraid, like you touched on of that abandonment, we're afraid of the repercussions of the truth, and it feels safer. It feels more advantageous to hide or bend or warp [00:51:00] reality.

  And I think honesty is such a liberating force. Four. And what whatever falls away, uh, is meant to fall away. And, and finally, I think if there's aspects of ourselves that are, that we're nervous about or we are struggling to accept within ourselves, being honest with someone else and having them stay, having them love you, the healing potential and the benefit of a moment like that, the, the power of re corrective experience like that is so immense.

  Yeah. It's bigger than keeping it within and, and hiding it. Yeah. And of course there's an element of [00:52:00] choosing who to, to deeply, deeply trust, but wow, that's maybe a whole nother podcast. Uh, I can, yeah.

  Quincee: I couldn't say this better myself. I think, I think you nailed it. The capacity to navigate a rupture and repair cycle in a relationship and the deepening that happens as a result of that is so much more beautiful and complex and

  expansive than having distorted or contorted to create comfort in the moment.

  Hmm.

  And yeah, I just bow, I bow at the feet of people who navigate their relationships with that level of bravery and [00:53:00] pray for more and more of that in myself. And in speaking this right now, hold myself accountable to that and hold my friends in a position to call me out on my shit if I'm not in alignment with that.

  I have to say being in Minneapolis really helps walk me home to this truth that you're sharing. I feel very supported in being honest with all of you

  Haley: Yeah. Absolutely. You know, hoping and praying that everyone has those people in their life they feel they can trust and open up to, and that it's received and. The shame isn't amplified. Um, yeah. Are we in the throat? We are. Oh, for sure. In the throat. We definitely are. Yeah. We definitely are. We definitely are.

  We've been in the throat for a while.

  Quincee: We have, [00:54:00] yeah. As soon as my throat started to like throb and like melt, I was like, okay, here we go. Um, yes, absolutely. And, and last night, like as I was sitting in this circle of women after teaching my Kundalini class in this very space, someone pulled the distortion card, which is the throat chakra card.

  Ooh. From the deck that I illustrated. And we read, we read that description, and one of the key questions there was, how do our distortions protect us? And. I think that we've certainly, yeah. Answered that question between the two of us, right? Our distortions have protected us from, from being left behind, from being abandoned, from being hurt.

  And maybe we continue to find spaces where we can move away from those distortions and into clarity, into, [00:55:00] into honesty.

  Haley: Shall we rise?

  Quincee: We shall rise. Okay, so we're gonna go to the third eye, and this is the space between the eyebrows. This is indigo light, and we are in this center.

  Exploring ideas around vision and intuition and clairvoyance even. Um, I've been really enjoying in the center to just provide you a space to really playfully explore

  list of things that you're curious about or intuit that you would like to create in this life. Oh, whether it's related to the mediums that you've already explored or completely unrelated, um, you can go as big as you want here.

  Haley: This is so fun,

  Quincee: isn't it? So fun.

  I'm having fun. So [00:56:00] fun. Okay.

  Rattle 'em off.

  Let's go for it.

  Haley: Okay. Uh, so things that I want to see come to fruition in my lifetime. Totally. Oh, fantastic. Manifesting time. So, top of the list is definitely aiding and assisting. My parents and any loved ones that I'm in close proximity to have a beautiful easeful passage through death. I would love to support the people who have supported me throughout my entire life through a peaceful, fearless death.

  And I very much see myself taking on an active role in that state. And, um, yeah, just reassuring those around me that it's okay to let go and you're beautiful and you've lived a fantastic life and you are loved and [00:57:00] will live on.

  Hmm,

  you will not be forgotten and it's okay. Um, so that's definitely top of my list and, and it's been top of my list for a while.

  Um, in a different vein, I would love to. Create my own furniture. I would love to design multiple outfits from head to toe and step out in 100% handmade outfits using natural textiles and fabrics and maybe exploring with, um, natural dying techniques. I would love to have a fancy fairy garden party with all of my closest friends and have beautiful tea lights and little, you know, finger food, finger sandwiches and fizzy drinks and things like that.

  I would love [00:58:00] to, um, be a teacher in some capacity, uh, connecting with the youth and young students. And, uh, overall just. Kind of translating and transmitting a sense of confidence in oneself and authority and sovereignty in one own, one's own being. I really admire and am internally grateful for the teachers that I had when I was much younger and more impressionable.

  Um, there are a few that stick out that they really helped light the way when I was confused and it would be beautiful to kind of navigate a teaching space. Um, beautiful. I'd like to go to Morocco. I would love to go to Antarctica before I'm 33 years old to [00:59:00] round out all seven continents. Uh, by my 33rd year, I feel called to keep bees.

  And make my own honey infused with different herbs and spices. Um, homemade butter, homemade bread, uh, pickling and jamming and jarring and tinkering and all of the little potion making, uh, things, one that's a little more vulnerable and definitely in the hands of God, um, completely. I would like to one day step into motherhood and, um, be this nurturing, sweet, fierce, loving, grounded force for a child.

  My child. Um, I feel like as I get a little bit older [01:00:00] in to my thirties, my focus seems to be shifting towards the younger generations and how. Wise, they are, they are here to help us. They are here to shake things up. Mm-hmm. And they are here to teach us. And it would be an honor to, um, give life to one of those little beings.

  I feel like I could keep going. Is that what, what do I wanna check in?

  How are you doing over there? It's been awfully quiet. Everyone take a breath.

  Quincee: No, I, I love this just as much as you do because I think that in hearing about other people's dreams and desires and intentions. It helps me understand myself and my own wishes as well. So. I appreciate it and I couldn't agree more about [01:01:00] the new, like, the generations of kids right now are so, they're so next level. I don't know if it's always been this way or people have always felt this, but I'm truly astonished by the beings that they're coming out with these days.

  Um,

  from the old factory in the sky.

  Haley: Yes. They're really coming out with some high tech babies. Yeah. New

  models.

  Haley: I echo your prayers for, for motherhood both in myself and for you. And I know, I see you so fiercely standing in that role and, and so beautifully and so sweetly, um, fostering the life of a. Of a child and I'm totally crying. . Aw, this keeps happening.

  Yeah. This, yeah. I just see you being a really beautiful steward, um, on this earth and like [01:02:00] really holding that down, uh, really beautifully. Thank you. I, yeah, I really receive that. I really appreciate Yeah. You putting word to that.

  Quincee: Yeah. It's gonna be so good.

  Haley: Yeah. I think a lot of my third eye visions have to do with maintaining and deepening in long-term relationship with my family and friends and those around me.

  I love a good multiple decade relationship and you know, how supportive can we be for each other while also. I have a laundry list of personal goals and aspirations, like writing a book and all these fun things and fun projects to just keep that creative sparkle alive and yeah, weaving all of that into, yeah, just deepening in support and care of those who have [01:03:00] stuck around.

  Quincee: Yeah. Mm.

  Haley: Thank you for asking such amazing questions. I feel like so far this podcast experience has been so expansive. It's, it's so nice to have this line of inquiry into, into myself. I just appreciate your curiosity and I'm sure every guest on this podcast leaves feeling like your love, feeling me.

  It's your love living through this podcast. Thank you. That makes me feel so good. You have no idea, really. Yeah. This. And I'm seeing it as this actual vertical line of inquiry, like all the way through the seven centers. Um, it is just my absolute honor and I can't tell you how much it delights me to learn more about the people I love and creative beings who I look up to in so many ways.

  I learned so much through [01:04:00] being, ah, in this seat. Um, I learned so much. Yeah. From all of you. Um, what is one of your dreams? Stop.

  Well,

  hmm. First of all, my whole body melts into that question

  again. I'm back to the image of the spider. Mmm.

  Quincee: The Guardian

  Haley: and Protector that I placed around us at the beginning of recording this podcast and dropping into this space, the spider has been so with me this past week especially, but she has been the guardian of choice for some time. I call her in because that, which I really want to create.

  My dream is to weave together the people that I [01:05:00] love and the things I love to do with them into more and more of these coherent and synchronous experiences.

  I know that's gonna take on myriad forms.

  Quincee: Mm.

  Haley: It looks like this right now. This is one piece, it looks like embodied practice together. It looks like sharing those spaces of dance, it looks like singing together. Um,

  really just pulling together all of these threads of beloveds, both beloveds in person and beloveds in action and activity and weaving them into something. It's intangible, but it also feels increasingly like [01:06:00] it's appearing out of the void, how that wants to be made through me. Um, and I'm getting so many soul helpers along the way.

  My goodness. Just people appear out of nowhere and they hold these immense keys to this, this ultimate puzzle or this I, they hold threads to this web, I should say, actually.

  , It's remarkable. So my intention and my, my dream is to just keep, keep true to the spider medicine of weaving them together into meaningful and coherent offering. Yeah.

  You're a dream. You're living it. You're already living it.

  All right, let's wrap up, shall we? Yeah. Take her home. Let's take it home so you can bring the fingertips [01:07:00] to top of the head, the scalp, and just arriving here, just maybe running the fingers through the hair, tapping gently on this space.

  Last night I was sharing the, the visualization of the cerebral spinal fluid that bathes the brain and circulates all the way throughout the spinal column, becoming bioluminescent with this indigo light.

  And what I love to imagine as we listen to the rain hit the roof of this acorn is that those droplets are also hitting the still lake of our crown, soothing and

  Quincee: tending.

  [01:08:00] Hmm.

  Here. I love to ask finally,

  where do you think this energy of creation comes from?

  Haley: All glory be to God. God is the most high.

  God is the most high.

  Quincee: Mm-hmm.

  Haley: All glory be to God.

  Quincee: Mm-hmm.

  Yeah.

  Haley: Yeah.

  Maybe a footnote.

  Quincee: Yeah.

  Haley: I think any worldly success is God's, you know?

  Quincee: Mm-hmm. I have a

  Haley: fancy art show. Uh, your podcast is the number one podcast on all streaming platforms. You know, all these amazing, like amazing achievements can occur in a lifetime and all of them belong to God. Yeah.

  Amen. Amen.[01:09:00]

  I

  Quincee: couldn't agree more. And this question is the final and always the great equalizing question. Um, the great remembrance, like none of this is ours. We're just lucky enough to witness it and put our hands on it and bring it down onto this beautiful earth realm in celebration of the great one.

  Yeah, absolutely. Uh,

  Hailey, I know you said

  Haley: you're feeling really like anonymous these days. Do you want to share anything right now about like how people can find you in your work or you just want to be anonymous? I am in Okay. Audience, come in real close. Come in real close. You wanna find me on the internet?

  You can't.[01:10:00]

  I am in incognito mode and I am so happy here. Perfect. Yeah. We can even use a, an alias for you if we want. Ooh. I guess I did say your name a few times. No, I feel comfortable with my name. Okay. Haley Purvis. It's a good name. It's a good, nice name. I'm a ta, I like my name. Okay, good. It suits you, but I'm not online these days and you know, I will return.

  Okay. Let's, let's not get carried away. I'll be back. But I think, uh, for now. Let's just allow this episode and my essence and energy, um, on this episode to exist just the way it is. Perfect. Rock and roll. All right. Without further ado, we are dumb.

  Thank you for journeying with me into the Fertile Vision Seed Podcast. From this space, it's my hope that the whisper of inspiration may take [01:11:00] root and aid you in your creative path. If this episode resonated with you, I invite you to share it, leave a review, and follow along with us on social media.

  Until next time, keep dancing in the dark and cultivating the seeds of your creative vision. Bye-bye.