8. Hannah Miller (Wolf): Music as Medicine, Slowness, Navigating Edges
“We are here to fall in love with everybody.” In this episode, Quincee interviews Hannah Miller, known by her artist name Hannah Wolf, a musician and storyteller. They delve into the creative journey, discussing topics such as the alchemy of the creative process, the importance of community and collaboration, and the transformative power of music. Key themes include finding one's voice, the significance of artistic devotion, and navigating vulnerabilities in creative expression.
00:00 Introduction to the Vision Seed Podcast
00:30 Meet Hannah Miller: The Artist's Journey
01:16 The Creative Process: Exploring the Chakras
07:16 Root Chakra: Hannah's Musical Beginnings
18:28 Sacral Chakra: Creativity and Sensuality
26:56 Solar Plexus: Embracing Creative Power
38:28 Reflecting on the Purpose of Music
40:00 Heart-Centered Creation
42:02 A Magical Weekend of Music
44:44 The Power of Connection and Impact
46:46 Expressing Through the Throat Chakra
55:34 Creative Aspirations Beyond Music
59:38 The Birth of Vision Seed
01:08:53 The Mystery of Creative Energy
01:11:03 Gratitude and Future Visions
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Hannah - 5:23:25, 13.54
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Vision Seed Podcast, where we gather in the dark beneath the soil with an luminous void from which all creation blooms without our sense of sight. We explore the alchemy of the creative process through intimate conversations with artists and visionaries. Together we embrace the mystery and infinite potential of the unknown.
This is a space to honor the whisper of inspiration in the dance within the blackness that births creative magic. Let's journey into the void.
In this episode, I talked to Hannah Miller. Hannah Miller going by the artist's name. Hannah Wolf is a musician, storyteller, and a vessel for raw feeling with guitar in her hands. Since the age of nine, she weaves melodies from the fabric of her lived experience. Each song, a thread pulled from her inner scenes of heartache, healing, and wonder.
I hope you love this episode as much as I loved creating it.
Quincee: Oh,
now [00:01:00] everyone, everyone listening knows I have a hydro flask Yeah. I've been revealed. All right. This is not sponsored. How many times can we say hydro fla until they give us some fun stuff.
Buckle in. Buckle up. Strap in.
So we've gone dark and we're here with our eye masks on in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Mm-hmm. In the acorn, which is the most special place, which has carried so much unspeakable amounts of joy and transformation and healing for both of us and for so many people in this community.
So I think you may be familiar with the format of how we do things on this podcast
Hannah: a little bit,
Quincee: but I'll walk you through it just so you have an idea of where we're headed. So we record in the dark and without our sense of [00:02:00] sight so that we can more deeply connect to the sensations of our body and get in touch with the felt experience, and then move through the body's energetic system from the root chakra, which is at the base of the spine all the way up to the crown chakra, which is actually just above the head.
And we move in this way. Chakra by chakra all the way up and talk about the creative journey that you've been on in your life as it relates to each of these systems. Okay? But before we we dive into talking about each system or each center.
We start with the third eye so that we know where we're headed. We have a sense of vision or intention for us in this context simply looks like taking a [00:03:00] moment to. Feel the body as it is right now. So we'll take a deep breath together
and exhale
and so as we lie here in the abyss, in the void. Hannah, I would like to ask you to bring your attention to the area of most sensation in your body in this moment, allowing your awareness to gently embrace that area of most sensation
and begin to ask this area of sensation if there are any words that it wants to share or. If there's a color or texture form associated with this sensation.
And when you're ready, you can share a little bit about what you're feeling.
Hannah: Well the first thing that comes to mind is my left [00:04:00] shoulder, like by my neck, because yesterday we did this 20 minute hit class and so I'm kind of sore there
Quincee: a knot in my shoulder.
But yeah, me too.
Hannah: You know, we did our movement. It's important. Mm-hmm. But today it's like, oh, I need a little extra love and care. Um, it's funny when you said color, it was like the first thing that flashed was red. I don't know what that means, but. Maybe that just means it's a little inflamed or needs some, you know, touch and massage and relaxation.
So honestly, laying here feels really good. Really good. Mm. Um, yeah, and it's funny that it's on the left side because I've been having so many issues with my right side, so it's like this healing journey of [00:05:00] like trying to balance out, you know, when you have an injury or you kind of overcompensate.
Um, and so it's like this constant left and right balance that I'm fluctuating in right now.
Quincee: Yeah. I'm curious if there's anything beyond just your awareness that that shoulder is, is asking of you. Is there any message there besides rest and maybe touch
Hannah: well, yeah, like it's on the left side, right? So it's like that's the receiving side. And so maybe it's just saying you need to receive more, like it's okay to ask for, , some care or to ask for more rest or slowness or to ask for touch, get a massage. I don't know. [00:06:00] I'm not good at asking. So yeah, it's, it could be that it's get better at asking for help or support.
Assistance, all of that. And that can translate into, creative projects too. Mm-hmm. I try to do everything myself, but, um, realizing that collaboration is just so fun and it's more fun to do things with people.
Quincee: Yeah.
Hannah: And like the flow of ideas, and then you create this even better thing than what you thought.
So , ask to work with people and create something beyond what your vision could see.
Quincee: I so love the idea of following a sensation in the body as a thread to liberation and really tuning in and asking what is here and what is needed, and how can I show up for. This need that [00:07:00] it's pointing to.
So yeah, I find it a really beautiful place to start, and I'm sure these themes of community and collaboration will continue to appear throughout our conversation. Mm-hmm. I'm, I have a suspicion. Yeah. But we'll start down in the root chakra. So this is red. This is questions associated with security and stability, but also with history and with the lineage, let's say, of creativity in your life.
Um, so here, I just would love to hear a little bit about your journey as a musician. Where did that start for you? Yeah.
Hannah: Oh, good question. Okay, let's get into it. Let's go. I mean, yeah, root chakra, the lineage. And so it started super [00:08:00] young. I grew up in a very musical family, at least on my mom's side. She taught me how to start playing guitar at nine.
Um, and so that was like such a blessing to get from her that she's this musician and she's always played by ear. She just can play anything, piano, guitar, accordion, just like anything she picks up. And so growing up, even as a little kid, it was just my mom and her sisters would always have these jam sessions and musical nights.
And so I was always immersed in music and I'm really grateful for that, for sure. Mm-hmm. And,, and so I got it, got to start really young. And I remember just seeing someone playing guitar. It was actually in church of all places, but. You know, I was surrounded by her playing guitar all the time, but it was like specifically in church that I got this download that I was like, I wanna play that, that specific instrument.
And so I went home and she taught me some [00:09:00] chords and that just started the journey of beginning. And then, , around 12 years old, I took a few months of guitar lessons, but it was only like three months. Otherwise, I've mostly been self-taught. And so through this journey of just training my own ear to play by ear and create what comes to me in the moment has always been a part of my journey, just improv.
And, , it started with acoustic guitar. Then I got my first electric guitar around I think 12 or 13. Then I explored different sounds. 'cause now it's like, ooh, electric guitar just evokes different creative impulses. And I wanted to play more, solo work and rock music and stuff like that.
And so, throughout my teen years, I would play with friends and open mics at coffee shops and just small stuff. I grew up in a [00:10:00] small town, so it's not like I was doing anything big yet, but we'd write our own music. And so that's always been there. This creating my own music. I, I don't really like doing covers, to be honest.
I think it's this idea of I wanna create something new.
Mm-hmm.
Hannah: You know, something's already been done is a little bit less exciting to me, but it's a good way to practice, right? Like learn someone else's song to get, um, experience in. But I've always had this impulse of just creating something new on the spot.
Mm.
Hannah: And um, and then it was in my twenties. I did different stuff with different friends group, projects, bands and stuff. And it was probably around, I would say 25, where I kind of completely stopped playing for a couple years. I lost a friend to [00:11:00] brain cancer and the friend group that I was doing a lot of music with, it just
hmm,
Hannah: we kind of dispersed a little bit and maybe we just didn't know how to hold that level of grief.
And I started feeling like, Ugh, music is never gonna be a big part of my life. Like, what's the point of doing this anymore? It's just a fun hobby, but I kind of got sucked into that. Societal pressure of just let go of your dreams. You gotta work, you gotta just like, focus on your, you know, making money and surviving and blah, blah, blah.
Like, it really gave up creative endeavors for mm-hmm. Probably, I wanna say like three or four years. I mean, there was an entire relationship I was in where they didn't know I played guitar. They were like, what? You played guitar? And so , it's sad, but it, I, that was [00:12:00] also the hardest years of my life, like realizing that music is such a critical piece to my happiness, my joy, , my spirituality.
And I gave it up. And that was the hardest period of my life, emotionally at least, and mentally. And then we move into saturn return times, you know, at 28, like the world. Got rocked with the pandemic. Wow. And something during that time just really, I think it was so, such a blessing to slow down and started picking up my guitar again.
Mm-hmm.
Hannah: And I realized, oh my God, why did I ever stop?
Wow.
Hannah: And that just started the spark again. It really, it was small, it was subtle at first, it was kind of just an ember in the, in the ashes. But over time it started to awaken again. And I [00:13:00] wrote, honestly, a lot of the songs I have now were written in the last four years. And so I'm really grateful for, for that because my life has become extremely musical again.
And it's a main part of. What I do and how I experience, I don't even wanna say joy, because sometimes it's deeply emotional. Mm-hmm. You know, it's how I experience grief. It's a way of processing emotions and expressing myself. 'cause I'm not very good at doing that with words. Mm. I think I've, for most of my life, was very emotionally bottled up and music is a way for me to express it.
That translates well, I think.
Quincee: Wow. So that's the podcast. You truly just, you gave me such a beautiful, painted, such a beautiful picture of, of [00:14:00] your, your journey that I feel, I feel so satisfied, but no. Yeah. Root shop or done, but we'll, we'll, there's something I wanna zoom in on and kind of highlight. About what you just shared and reflect, which was like with that big experience you had with losing your friend and the confrontation of mortality and, and death and a period of darkness or sadness, that music or your creative impulse was the first thing to go when you felt that survival instinct kick in.
And I think the question that that brings up for me is like how, I guess it's more of a curiosity of how do we create resiliency within our art so that it is not the first thing to go when things get hard, right? Like how do we bring it in closer to center? And [00:15:00] certainly I think you have some insights around that because.
The last, the period of the last few months for you has been on paper, maybe destabilizing, but , your music has become even stronger through that. So what do you think the differences with, that period, that first big challenge where you stopped playing versus this new big challenge where you're increasing playing and,
Hannah: yeah.
Good. Oh yeah. What was that about? It's like, music has become my anchor. Yeah., It's become my thread to my heart. Mm-hmm. To knowing, to truth. I mean, there's a song for anything out there. Mm-hmm. I mean, if you're feeling angry or sad or whatever, I, I think anyone can, has a playlist or songs ready to go for, like, I'm feeling this emotion, play this song.
It's gonna help me through it, you know? And.
Maybe I just forgot that during that first mm-hmm. [00:16:00] Kind of earthquake moment.
Mm-hmm.
Hannah: And then recently, in the last few years, it's become like, no, that is your, your lifeline. That's your, their floaty toy, whatever you want to call it. You lost at sea. Like get, get your buoy, whatever you call it.
It's a lifesaver. And the storms are roaring. You know, you gotta hold on to something. And
Quincee: The lifesaver, the buoy, the
Hannah: mince, whatever the, um,
Quincee: get your paddleboard. Yeah. Get your boogie board. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hannah: , And honestly, it's through medicine work. Yeah. It truly, that helped me see the power of music.
Mm. Um,
Quincee: right. Because. The I or the songs Carry You through the Journey? Yeah, I think
Hannah: it could be going through a hellish experience, but when you focus on the songs that are being sung, it's just, music is happening in the present moment. It's that thread you can grab onto and be, okay, I'm [00:17:00] here again.
And there's no past, present or future is just presence. Um, and I do believe that a song can get me to an elevated state like nothing else. You know, those substances, nothing songs can just bring me to a place. I'm gonna be absolutely crying because it's just so beautiful. Um,
I
Hannah: really do think, I believe, I know music is how I experience God, how I remember and.
To have forgotten that for a few years is why , I had such a hard time emotionally, I was just numb and there was nothing that was really making my life have purpose or meaning. And maybe this isn't true for everyone. Whatever your creative outlet is, that's your thread. But for me, it's [00:18:00] music. And to have given up on that for so long, uh, was really heart shattering.
And now to have it again during hard times, that's the first thing I go to because I know better now to, to abandon that. That it is, it'll get me through.
Quincee: Mm. It's beautiful, Hannah. Yeah. I know that we've already begun to touch on some of these more sacral themes. Mm. This Orange Energy Center that. Just above the roots.
We've already been. We've already been there. We're done. But there's some deepening into questions here for me and curiosities towards you. So the sacral is associated with creativity and with flow, but also with like passion and aero and sensuality. Mm-hmm. And you [00:19:00] spoke to how improvising and playing music with others was the most like pleasurable, , elevated state for you.
I wanna expand in on that and just hear a little bit more about what is really bringing you, delight and pleasure right now. Creatively,
what's lighting you up?
Hannah: I think it. I mean, you saw a bit of it yesterday when we were all hanging out.
Mm. Um,
Hannah: I'm really enjoying the loop pedal because it allows me to create layers with myself, and then others can also jump in and we get to build a song together.
Mm.
Hannah: And that, that really lights me up.
'cause now it's not just me and my guitar, it's multiple layers of guitar or a shaker added in there, and vocals and harmonies. And [00:20:00] this , collaborative feeling now of sharing music together and creating a full experience of what we're feeling. 'cause I can translate an emotion that I'm feeling through sound.
It just, it's like, okay, I can. Um, kind of build with certain chords. And I'm imagining, I don't know what other people's experiences with my music, but how I feel is I can, without words just create a sound that I, I believe is what I'm feeling.
Mm-hmm.
Hannah: Um, and that lights me up in the sense that I can finally feel, honestly, I'm not, I was not good with feeling my emotions and expressing them.
And so through music, I, I've tapped deeper into my body and into understanding what my body's [00:21:00] trying to tell me and, and then translate that into music.
Quincee: Oh, I find it one of the most beautiful, and of course, pleasurable aspects. Of creation where we see ourselves reflected back to us through our art. Or in the case of, creating music or these like loops in real time.
Like you can hear yourself back. Yeah. You're like, oh, I just, I can hear my emotion in that. And now I recognize myself and it's so curative. Oh
yeah. Oh it's so good.
Quincee: It's so, gosh. It's just like so easy to talk to you. I love that I barely have to say anything and then you just begin to share some like epic.
Yeah. Here's epic's a
Hannah: question. Go.
Quincee: You just launch into an epic beautiful, Ugh. It's just so good. And then tapping back
Hannah: into the sensuality. Mm-hmm. I know this is more of a sexual center and stuff [00:22:00] and I think I feel since deepening with music, it has livened that that aeros in me because I was also really shut down sexually at times in my life.
And. Our creative energy is our sexual energy. And as I do more creative stuff, I can tap further into like, Ooh, I'm f I'm just feeling so alive and I wanna share that with people and
mm-hmm.
Hannah: And then that brings their aliveness in. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Quincee: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Our creation energy can take a lot of different forms.
And this is something that I always share with people, specifically when I'm teaching Kundalini, because I think there's a lot of misconceptions about what Kundalini is. And I've had a lot of people be like, okay, so , isn't this just sex stuff? I'm like, well, no. Kundalini is working with creative life force energy.
[00:23:00] Mm-hmm. And creative life force energy can be used for everything that we do that creates. Hmm. So sex is one of those things, right? Sexuality is one expression of creative energy, but music is an expression of creative energy. Movement is an expression of this energy. Art is an expression of this energy.
So it would really behoove us as creative beings to understand a little bit more about the base energy that we're working with. Mm-hmm. It's like you can't be an electrician and not understand electricity. Yeah. What, in the same way that you can't be a creative being without understanding creative energy.
So I think that, um, now I'm maybe going into a little bit of a tangent, but my life's work and what I hope to do is understand creative energy so well, that I can, um, that I can help others understand it too. And. And we can learn how to sculpt it and work with it [00:24:00] and transmute it and share it and express it in all of the most radially, alive ways.
Yeah. Um, 'cause it's our
Hannah: birthright. It is. This makes me emotional, but Yes. And so we're creative beings. I mean, it's who we are. It's what we, everything we do is creative. You cook a meal, you created that. It can become smallest thing. Yeah. Yeah. That we do every day. But that's creative energy.
Yeah. And when we're really cut off from it, that's when I feel we start to delve into like depression. Yeah. And the kind of the crumbling and falling apart of our lives. I, I just feel like you have to have a creative outlet or you're, it just becomes a lot of suffering. Right. Unnecessary suffering, you know?
Quincee: Yeah. And I think that, we're born with creative impulse. And when we don't have outlets or we don't allow ourselves [00:25:00] to work with our creative energy for whatever reason, oh, I'm, you know, too tired. I don't have the skills. I'm, I'm overworked, I'm stressed, I'm anxious. Like, for whatever reason it is that we cannot step into our creative power.
What we fall into is consumption. Like mm-hmm. Our, our system kind of has these, these two modes, right? So if you're not outputting, it's like you're seeking input. And yeah, that can be, it can be harmless in times, but it can also be like deeply harmful. It can lead to hyper consumption of all sorts of things.
Media, food, sex, drugs. It could ex, it could go so far as addiction, so. . I argue that it's a means of, it's a matter of like survival and mm-hmm. Um, and thriving. I [00:26:00] guess you can survive without creating, but you cannot thrive without creating. Yeah. Well,
Hannah: your wellbeing is suffering for sure.
Yeah.
Quincee: Oh,
Hannah: getting fired up. Like how, how do we, like Already's feeling so much. Okay.
I said, what do I have to do to get you to leave a review? If you love this podcast and you wanna make it last, um, yeah, for real. I would love to continue to have. Beautiful conversations with artists on this podcast and you leaving a review and following this on Spotify or Apple Podcasts really, really helps me do that.
So let's keep growing this together. Thank you. Thank you, thank you,
Quincee: Like relax. Relax. Easy girl. Easy. All right. Oh, deep breath in.
This is an energy center. I'm always excited to talk [00:27:00] about, because I feel at least recently that I'm. Really here. And this is the solar plexus. This is yellow. It's related to sun energies, the young energy, the vitality, radiance self-confidence. Identity. Particularly feel like the last couple of months, specifically that this center feels really alive.
I feel maybe more willing to
mm-hmm.
Quincee: Claim creative identity and step into the sovereignty that, that avails. But as we drift our attention and intention into this center, maybe placing a hand on the belly. Mm-hmm.
Oh, I wanna know a little bit about, where you feel most powerful creatively, [00:28:00] and then maybe where you feel you have room to grow. And then maybe by bringing awareness to these things, we can help roadmap your path forward a little bit. Interesting. Where do you feel like creatively powerful right now?
Hannah: Man, it's so interesting because we keep talking about the last few months. And so I feel like for context, for people listening, I gotta just kind of clarify what we gotta clear the air happening in my life the last few months. So, I mean, talking about all of like the static noise and consumption and, and kind of just not having the space to create or be cut off from our creativity.
Something I was experiencing in life was burnout. I just, I was working a full-time job. I didn't like it. It was really just sucking all of my creative energy out. I [00:29:00] didn't wanna play. It was hard to play. Um, it was hard to wanna do anything. And so I quit my job back in February and all of a sudden I have all this free time and that obviously unlocks.
A lot of creativity, but it took some time for my nervous system to get used to having that much free time and also de-stressing from burnout and getting used to being bored. I think this is a theme that's coming up for a lot of friends around me right now where we don't know how to be bored in our society.
We would constantly wanna be productive and doing something, but it's in the silence and the boredom that like new ideas come through. And so it's been such a gift to have these [00:30:00] last few months of just having time, freedom to be creative and also not force anything. 'cause there was a little bit of excitement too, , oh my gosh, okay, now I can just create.
But then sometimes nothing would come and I'm like, what is happening? And I kept getting this. Almost like a voice in my head being like, you actually need to do less. You know, you think you're doing less by having time freedom, but like you're still trying to do stuff you haven't gotten used to, truly doing nothing.
Quincee: Whoa.
Hannah: And I, that was really uncomfortable to spend a day doing absolutely nothing. There's like guilt and shame. Like, I should be trying to find a job or create something so that I am productive and a member of society. And I just kept getting this message of no, no, no. Do less, do less, do less, do less.
And so through the last few months, I [00:31:00] guess lately it's when I am having a slow morning.
Yeah. Letting my body do some light movements and not rush, not force anything, not have expectations, and then just let the moment kind of arise, create the container for creativity, but not force it. And um, yeah, just let it come through. And there's a balance, right? Like you could sit around and do nothing forever, and then it's like, well, you didn't create anything.
You know, you do have to like kind of have some structure. And so I'm still working on that, that's definitely what I need to work on is setting. Of creative time up that like from this block of time is for just playing. Mm-hmm. Being playful. Just the creativity, [00:32:00] you know, the potentiality of it to happen.
Um, but yeah, it's been definitely a learning curve for me to Yeah. To slow down. It's so hard to slow down in our, our world.
Quincee: Yeah. When you, when you talk about slowing down and just like spending the morning doing nothing, like I, you probably know me well enough now Yes. To know that I am someone who's, who's also actively trying to increase my capacity to hold stillness.
Mm-hmm. But I do, I really struggle to slow down. Mm-hmm. And that's been something that I'm really trying to. Do as well, because we're on a similar timeline. I mean, I haven't had a job since March, so a couple of months now too, where I've been trying to understand what it looks like [00:33:00] to dive full-time into creating this.
Mm-hmm. But in a way that actually honors my energy and my cycles and my, uh, my, my fluctuations and power on any given day. Right. , Especially, you know, of course being a woman too, we go through these cycles and surges of, of power and, um, I have to accept that there's several days out of the month where I, so nothing's gonna happen, can't do anything, but I've al I'm so used to being in a hyper productivity model.
Yeah. And also like our screens are reflecting back to us, right? Mm-hmm. That you're not allowed to slow down. Like everything is moving faster and faster every day, and you have to keep up with that and mm-hmm. There is a serious rebellion in choosing slowness and choosing to have that morning that is spacious and inviting the muse in [00:34:00] through your presence and patience and willingness to receive.
So I'm inspired by that. Yeah. Um,
Hannah: yeah. And as someone with such an act of mind, like I just, it was like getting the mind the quiet to the point where like, any new fricking thought could come in, you know? Yeah. Or a new idea or a song. It's just sometimes I go and sit by the river and I'll just sit there for like two hours
and
Hannah: stare at the water and listen and just.
There's nothing to do.
Quincee: Can we put that on our list of things to do? Yeah. I love, I
Hannah: mean, it's been so rainy this week. I know. So it's been hard. But yeah. I definitely wanna sit by the river with you.
Quincee: I want that
Hannah: too. I mean, water. Let's go. It's such a great way to sit and contemplate. Yeah. Is by bodies of water, especially a river moving water.
It's, yes, it's flowing and you can just [00:35:00] sit and contemplate that, okay, I gotta get in the flow and how do I do that? Surrendering, just letting go. Yeah. My control of what it should look like, how creativity should work for me, yeah. It's just so many lessons in nature.
\
Quincee: Yes. Water is such a fantastic teacher. She's definitely my favorite as a Pisces. Double Scorpio. I have a water trine, so I'm, I'm all water all the time. A lot of emotion. It's the tears are flowing so often. I've shared my, my big three with people and they go, oh, you poor thing. So you're like crying 24 7.
It's so, it's so funny. Well, I wanna ask sort of like a maybe touchy or question, which is like what your. What your growth edge is right now? Like what's something that you [00:36:00] feel maybe like a little insecure about that you're working on?
Hannah: Okay. It's actually releasing my music.
Yeah. I am recording things, but I felt something come up recently where I was like, oh my God. I feel a little uncomfortable sharing some of these songs with people now, like beyond my friend groups or ceremony or small circles, because they work in that context, but they're vulnerable. Some of them are really vulnerable, or my stronger emotions that I'm a little embarrassed maybe by some of them, and it's such an edge to have music out there that anyone can find and see or experience.
My internal world, it's such a vulnerable thing. And so that is an edge. Like I'm excited to release my music, but I'm also [00:37:00] a little nervous. I'm gonna be honest.
Quincee: Yeah. This isn't a question I usually ask, but I think I really wanna start asking it more because I think that by shutting light on the thing where maybe feeling a little bit insecure about or afraid to do, it kind of lights a little bit of a fire mm-hmm.
In that solar plexus of like, all right, like my insecurity has been spoken. Like now it's time to time to alchemize and mm-hmm. Of course, that's, that's a no pressure thing. This could take time and mm-hmm. I have to say, obviously I'm, I'm not gonna judge you if it takes you five more years to release your music.
Yeah. And I, I suspect it won't because you're a pretty quick gal. I totally relate to what you're saying about. Becoming vulnerable and visible with your art. Mm-hmm. It is really scary. Yeah. It's scary.
Hannah: And then those deeper [00:38:00] wounds come up of comparing yourself to others. Yeah. Or feeling good enough.
Like, uh, are my songs that good? You know, I start to doubt them the, as I edit them and look at them deeper. Mm-hmm. And listen back to them a thousand times. They're like, Ugh, actually, is this a good song? And then I should just scratch the whole project and blah, blah, blah. And then I recently had the realization , like, what is my motivation for doing this?
, I've had people ask me, oh, where can I find your music? I would love to listen to it. And so, yeah, I could say it's for other people, but really it. To push past this edge, I had to dig deeper. And it's really for my younger self, because there was a, there's this little girl in me that never dreamed she could have recorded music.
Least an album that just felt like an impossibility, or that's for, famous people. And , it's like, I don't, [00:39:00] it's just not an impossibility now, but also these songs are from different era of my life. And so it's, it's for this younger self that didn't think being a musician was possible. And it's not about money.
I don't really expect to make any money off of this. It's just about getting it out there, enjoying playing music for the sake of enjoying it. Yeah. I don't care if anyone likes these songs, but like my main friends, it's for that, that 14-year-old that would spend hours in the basement playing guitar by herself and just dreamed of doing that forever.
Hmm.
Hannah: And so it's really about, that's what is driving me to continue past those deeper shadows of resistance. It's like, no, it doesn't matter about what other people think. It's, it's for myself, it's for my [00:40:00] younger self.
Quincee: I find it so amazing that we continue to do this on the podcast, that at least once the person who I'm talking to will, will move up into the next energy centered just naturally. And this is the question I was just about to ask you, which was. Who do you do this for?
Like what do you devote your art to? And this is all related to the themes of the heart. Yeah. And this like verdant green space of love and compassion and forgiveness and healing. And I know you to be someone very heart-centered, which is why I love you and why you're my friend, because I choose heart-centered people to, to call my friends.
But um, just yeah, to hear undoubtedly. And unwaveringly, my devotion is to that 14-year-old who's in the basement, like playing electric [00:41:00] guitar. It's for her first and foremost. I think that that offers your music such a solid foundation because you're clear on your intention. Mm-hmm. And the heart is an anchor.
And when we know that, which we devote our art to. It really simplifies things. Yeah. For us, and I think that also, this has been spoken on this podcast before, but the people listening to your music can feel the frequency with which you're creating it. Mm-hmm. And if you're creating it from a frequency of desiring to get something out of the listener, get something materially or get something, uh, in terms of validation that can be felt, I think.
Yeah. And when you're creating from a pure place of heart, people can tell. So I'm sure that will, will serve your [00:42:00] music in ways that you cannot yet even anticipate. And I mean, look at this past weekend.
Hannah: I know what
Quincee: happened there. That was incredible.
Hannah: Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Talk about a heart-centered weekend of music and just.
S absolutely blasting open. I mean, our dear friend Jade got a group of women together. We've been practicing for months, , to open up for mos. Uh, I don't know if people listening will know that, but, he does these cacao and ecstatic dance, , music events. I don't even know what you call it, but he's a traveling DJ and, um, is on tour right now and we got to open up for him in Minneapolis and it was this sold out show, like 300 people and it's just, it was just so magical.
Mm-hmm.
Hannah: I mean, absolutely. Hearts blasted open. Mine was, [00:43:00] and we got to sing beautiful songs. Um, in the beginning and then cacao was served and then it was this ecstatic dance for like three hours. And then afterwards we came back here to the dome and, uh, one of the performers, uh, traveling with Mo, he came and blessed up this space.
We sang till four in the morning. Just everyone shared songs and singing and it was an impromptu, incredible night. I mean, you don't plan stuff like that. Yeah. That just happens and that's what makes it so special. But yeah, it doesn't take much to have music crack the heart open when it's, when the people singing and playing are heart-centered.
You can feel it. Yeah. I mean, I, other than drinking cacao that night, I felt like I was on. Um, some kind of medicine. It was just, we were so [00:44:00] high vibrational that night. It was magic.
Quincee: Mm. That's the
Hannah: real prize. That's the real, and, and again, going back to like, yeah, I'm, I'm releasing this music for my, my younger self.
And if any of my songs, any of them reach someone and it helps them or helps them feel something within themself, it's worth it. That's it. It is just to share the, the joy of music and, and healing through music.
Quincee: That remembrance makes me so emotional. Are we gonna cry in the dark together? Gonna honor, where's your hand? Okay. I think it's. It is just been so tempting in the creation of this podcast and so tempting in the creation of this project, the last few months, to think that success is based on how many people I'm [00:45:00] reaching.
Yeah. But
Quincee: that is so not the case. If there's one person listening, if there's one person that resonates with something that I share, that's enough for me,
Hannah: it's worth it. Yeah. And
Quincee: like even better if that person says, Hey, this really impacted me, or reaches out and shares that with me, to me, that's the ultimate currency.
Like,
Hannah: oh yeah, you'll never forget it. Connection
Quincee: and heart opening and healing is what we're here to do. Mm-hmm. Period. And I do not care if I have. 200 followers on Instagram or 200,000 followers on Instagram. Like one person's felt experience is what matters. Yeah. Huh. That's all. Yeah. Like I just the highest honor.
When
Hannah: I play one of my songs and someone cries, I'm like, that's it. That was for them. Yeah. We're [00:46:00] good here. Maybe no one else felt it, but if that one person felt it worth it, worth it.
Yeah.
Quincee: Your hand is kind of cold. I know. I don't know what's happening. How did that happen? Your hands are hot.
It's because I've been holding my heart this whole time. Yeah. It's just, I love that no one can see us, but everyone can know that I'm clutching my chest. Yeah. Throughout the whole podcast when we're talking and now you're clutching my hand warming it up. It's, yeah. So much. I'm warming Hannah's hand up in the dark.
This is connected to your heart. Yeah, I know. My heart is just so warmed.
Hannah: Ugh. So favorite center so far. The heart. Always. Always such a
Quincee: party. Such a party. That's the fun happens. So as much as I don't wanna peel us away, we will start floating up into the throat, can bring the attention to the space of the throat. This [00:47:00] beautiful blue color. I was doing this visualization with a friend the other day.
We were trying to play this fun game where we were imagining what each chakra or energy center would look like as a room and the throat. I imagined it was like this bathhouse. Oh, with blue tiles and it's really echoy and it's full of cathedral singing. Yeah. And harmonies overlapping. That makes sense.
Hannah: That makes sense to me.
Quincee: I know the voice is a big part of your expression as a musician and
Hmm. I wanna know what you're trying to say, what you're hoping to say with your music. What's the message you're trying to relay?
Hannah: Just the concept of finding our voice. I was so shy [00:48:00] growing up and so singing in front of people was. Absolutely terrifying. It took a lot of time to feel comfortable singing in front of people. I mean, it still does. It's still very vulnerable. And even sharing my songs after that period of not playing any music for a while, was hard.
It was hard to share my music again, and there were songs I'd never shared with people until the last few years. So literally unlocking my voice and sharing these messages through these songs was such a journey and so terrifying,
because it's so vulnerable. It was like part of my heart, part of my life, part of my experience. Is, and I guess my message is,
I mean, it's literally in one of my songs, [00:49:00] we came to be in love with everybody.
Mm-hmm.
Hannah: And to remember that.
Mm.
Hannah: It's one of my main messages and I hope it's so simple. It's so simple. And it's so almost cliche and corny to say like, we're just here to be in love with everybody. We've heard it a million times, but it's like actually feel that it's next level. Um,
yeah. I hope, I, I hope that most of my songs, I evoke that feeling. , Of remembrance and, and loving each other and loving ourselves too. A lot of my work has just been learning how to love myself, and I think that's a lot of everyone's main journeys. Forgiving ourselves and loving ourselves and just getting to a place of accepting , okay, this is, this is who I am, this is [00:50:00] how I am, my quirks and all, and traumas and everything, and just I accept the mission.
I love this, this person I am, and becoming and,
and then viewing others and just seeing them so completely and loving them. Just loving them, not trying to change them or force anything. It's a practice for sure. It's a big one, but I like what you said, just if we can impact one person that's, you know, mission successful, honestly.
Quincee: Wow. I'm just like holding my hands up. You can't see me, but I'm just like letting this, letting this wash over me. And you are someone who's , so completely lives, lives from that, mm-hmm. We came here to be in love with everybody.
The moment I met you.
I could feel that [00:51:00] coming, coming from you and through you, that that is your mission and your purpose. Mm. And like you're living from heart and I getting to know you more and more. I feel like in the last year, like you have been coming in to love yourself more and more. I find it's like often so easy for us to fall in love with others.
Yeah. And so much more challenging to fall in love with ourselves. And I think, of course everyone around us reflects back to us, parts of ourself, whether they're challenging or whether they're beautiful and asks us to find love. And I so see you doing that. So, Ugh. Just , I love you, so I love you too.[00:52:00]
I love you. Crying on the podcast. Yeah, it's classic.
It's also really interesting. I remember the day that I met you last August, and the first thing that we connected over was the mysticism of sound and music.
Hannah: Yes. Ah, I have it. But still getting through that book. It's so good.
Quincee: Me too. It's a toughie. It's dense. And it's so rich and so full of gems. But yeah, I think being in the throat and in this space of sacred sound and of listening and of expression feels like a return to that moment that we first shared Hara, AK Khan is a genius and absolutely, and we [00:53:00] obviously have something to teach and to share and to learn from one another in this realm of the throat and of compassionate listening and sharing and expression.
So I feel really touched to be back here with you again. It feels like a moment where I can recognize the spiral nature of time.
Hannah: And for context, Quincy did a stick and poke tattoo of the whirling dervish skirt on my chest. It is my favorite tattoo. So meaningful. It was so synchronistic. 'cause I picked that symbol not knowing what it was. And then you told me after I picked it, I was like, put it over my heart instantly.
Quincee: Really
Hannah: special.
Such a special moment. Um, yeah, it's my most meaningful tattoo, honestly. Hmm. So we are forever connected. Everyone [00:54:00] just know that,
Quincee: it's still surreal to me that I've been entrusted by so many of my sisters to adorn their bodies with art. And when I think about it, it's like. You and Ash and Karina and Grace and Lydia and Ren and, and who else?
Michael. Michael. Oh my gosh. Michael. He's, he's one of 'em, Michael, who also be on the podcast soon, but there's many more. But to think that, like so many of my main core sisters have allowed me to tattoo either on the heart or on the back of the heart.
Mm-hmm. That, to me is immense. It feels so special and so meaningful that I inhabit.
Hannah: Yeah.
Quincee: And [00:55:00] enliven that part of the body.
So
we're back in the third eye. We started here with naming our sensation and visualizing our sensation at the beginning of our journey together here this evening. But as we drift attention to the space between the eyebrows and picture this beautiful indigo color, I like to ask a really playful question, which is.
If you wouldn't mind throwing out a brief and potentially silly and lighthearted list of a few things that you would like to create in your life. These can be things that have nothing to do with music.
Hannah: Yeah.
Quincee: Or the art form that you currently do, or things that have nothing to do with art [00:56:00] even. Yeah.
What are some things you'd like to create? Hannah? I really wanna
Hannah: learn how to make clothes. Me too. I just have one, they're too expensive. , And sometimes they're just boring. I'm like, I wanna make something more interesting and I just have ideas, but I just dunno how to make them yet.
But I wanna make clothes. I think it would be fun. And then you can have a unique wardrobe. I also have my, , grandmother's. Sewing machine that I got from my dad. So I want to honor my Irish grandmother by using it, I really wanna, I've been into metalwork and woodworking before.
I've made some furniture and done blacksmithing, and I want to continue that. I really enjoy, um, yeah, the metal, metal work woodworking world. Just need to fine tune those skills a little bit. And then I was kind of getting into leather work recently. I really want to make things out of leather, [00:57:00] like maybe a little big or something, or, I don't know how hard it would be to make shoes, but that would be so cool to make my own shoes, like leather boots or something.
Something. Maybe that's hard, I don't know. But who cares? You just learn how to do it. Um,
Quincee: you can become a cobblers apprentice.
Hannah: I know. I wanna, okay. I was just talking about this, how I wish apprenticeships were back, but like, instead of going to school and spending all this money, it's like, can I just live and work with someone to learn a skill instead of going into debt?
Can we bring apprenticeship back? Bring it back, um, yeah, I just, it's so expensive to learn a new skill, so I'm trying to do it through, through other means or teaching myself and just getting the materials. Clothes is like the big one 'cause that's just something that's been on my mind a lot's. Learning how to sew and create. Some new, [00:58:00] new clothes. 'cause I need to get rid of basically all my wardrobe. We need an up upgrade, you know? Yeah. I'm changing. My clothes need to change.
Like everything needs to change. Yeah.
Quincee: Yeah. I think it's funny, we've all been saying that too, Ash yesterday was also like, I need new clothes. Yep. New. The, the energy upgrades are too quick. They're faster. Faster than the wardrobe can keep up with. Funny. Oh, anything else that you're itching to make?
Hannah: It'd be fun to make some music videos or cool artsy visuals or something. Love that. With songs to release.
I'm trying to continue working on, drawing mandala. And artwork in that way, like geometry stuff. It's funny actually, in college, I, for two years was in like digital cinema, comm arts type stuff. So I was, I thought I was gonna go into filmmaking, but I wasn't [00:59:00] necessarily great at it.
It was just a fun hobby. Um, but that was, you know, 14 years ago. I would love to get back into that now in a lighthearted way. Not super complicated or serious, but, some music videos or, videos of me talking about stuff, who knows?
Quincee: Yeah.
Something will pop out of the dark in demand to be made. Absolutely. This, I'm sure of. Yeah. I mean, that's what happened with all of this. Yeah.
Hannah: Literally out of the dark, you're like, I will do this in the dark.
Quincee: Yeah. Do you know about the night that I discovered that I was gonna make vision seed? No. Tell me.
Tell me everything. It's interesting to me that I haven't really shared this yet, but there was a period of a couple of years where I had been continually getting this download in deep states of [01:00:00] meditation or in medicine work, where it was this indelible voice like Santa Fe, New Mexico, Santa Fe. Oh my God.
Lovely. Was that your belly? Yeah. That's crazy. That kind of scared me, to be honest. It sounded like that was kind of scary. Ghost podcast. Woo. Who's there? Okay. Oh my God. Maybe keep it in the podcast. Maybe don't. So I had been getting this indelible call to go to Santa Fe, New Mexico. And so finally last November I found myself there and I was going to tour a school and I also was going there to see why I had been continually receiving this message.
And so for the first couple of days, I really feel like I was, I was looking around a lot. I was like. Like, [01:01:00] maybe it's this place. Maybe I need to go to the Zen Center. Maybe I need to go here and there. And I was running around like looking for the reason that I had been sent to Santa Fe. And on the second night that I was there, I was falling asleep in bed.
And it was this incredible indescribable moment where I saw, felt, heard, smelled like all of the senses at the same time. Where my curiosity in psychology, my curiosity in art and my curiosity in yogic philosophy and yogic studies came together and like fused into one thing. I. And I felt it in every cell of my body that this was what I was going to be doing from now on.
Yeah. And I stayed up that whole night just [01:02:00] mapping it all out.
And in a lot of ways, everything that I'm doing now with the podcast, with the cohort that I'm starting with, the classes that I'll be teaching with the workshops, is to walk back to that initial radiance that I felt that evening. Mm-hmm. And continue to thread the radiance of that moment through the world.
And this is why I say I trust that something will come out of the dark and demand to be created.
Hannah: Yeah.
Quincee: Um, it's interesting because I didn't go to Santa Fe to discover anything. Outside of myself. Yeah. Santa Fe was a condition where I discovered something in my state of deep rest. So I think this is interesting too 'cause we spoke about, you know, allowing oneself to rest and what happens when that space is a availed And [01:03:00] anyway, that's a little bit of a backstory on vision seed.
I
Hannah: know. What an epic story, honestly, it's sometime, it is a change of scenery that just sparks something.
Quincee: Yeah.
Hannah: Getting out of our normal routines and environments.
Quincee: Yeah,
Hannah: I mean I've experienced that too. I traveled out to Oregon to see you and That's right. I, I mean that was even crazier 'cause it was from Visions and other like readings from other people telling you to go out there.
Mm-hmm.
Hannah: So random and then went back to Peru in April and it's all these synchronicities start happening and just . Leading you right to where you need to be. Yeah. To have the vision, the idea, the spark, whatever it is. Um, ugh. Yeah. I love that we're on this little treasure hunt. Treasure hunt.
It's like, go here. Why? I don't know. Maybe something will happen. Yeah.
Quincee: I love that you and I are both the [01:04:00] kind of crazy to listen to those I know impulses and we get it because I feel, , I could share this , with some people and they'd be like, , what are you doing running around like this?
Yeah. And, um, I'm following whispers of spirit. Yeah. And so are you, and,
Hannah: and you feel that pull, it's so strong. Like you have to go.
So grateful.
Quincee: I'm so grateful too. I am just, uh, I'm being taken for the ride of my life. On the tail of this vision.
In every way it is beginning to create this has been, has held up a mirror to all of the ways that I need to grow and step up, and not only into deeper safety in myself, but more magnetism and more power and more love and more clarity. In [01:05:00] my expression of what I'm creating. Oh. And yeah, my vision clarifies a little bit around it every day, and I think I've shared this with you, but it's like I can see five feet in front of myself every day and I walk those five feet and I wake up the next morning and five more feet are available.
It's just, it's just like this and it's humbling and it's beautiful and it's hard and it's expansive. Yeah. All at once. Yeah.
Hannah: You got people who are cheering you on. Love you so much, and it makes it less scary when you have good people in your life. I really do feel like, you know, taking these big leaps of faith, whether it's just trusting of.
Voice or vision in our head, or leaving our jobs or whatever it is. , It's doable. 'cause it's like I got people at my back, at my side, like [01:06:00] walking with me, um, supporting me. I'm always in awe of people who do it when they, they have no one. They're like, I gotta just do this. Yeah. No one's gonna believe me or trust me, or whatever.
Um, that takes a lot of strength and courage, but just to, to know that you're, you're so supported and loved by me For sure. And everyone else, it's,
Quincee: yeah. I do feel that like we
Hannah: got you, girl.
Quincee: Thank you. I do feel supported. And to be honest with you, I'm actually really glad that Spirit is asking me to do everything one step at a time.
, There have been moments where I'm like. I get impatient and I wonder , why can't I just have , this thing built already? Or like, why can't I have, you know, a bunch of people like knocking down my door asking me to come do this and that. Yeah. And like [01:07:00] share a vision seed here and there and be on their podcast and share on my pod.
Like, I'm so glad that Spirit is asking me to experience every checkpoint of this and really deeply feel each new person that comes into the field and is in support. Mm-hmm. And I can witness them like sitting down in the circle next to me and I can witness the next piece of support coming in and fully breathe it in and metabolize it and feel the gratitude for it, and then move forward from there.
It's like I would actually. Be really overwhelmed and destabilized with any other form of acceleration. I need each step and I want to thread each needle and I wanna cross every t and dot every I and spend every minute setting up every system Yeah. That [01:08:00] it takes to create this like as much tedious time as I've spent on Squarespace.
Yeah. And as much tedious time as I've spent putting together like this booklet for the course, as much tedious time, like all of it matters. Yeah
Hannah: Robin Care is going into it. Can't rush. No good things. Yeah.
Wow.
Quincee: So I guess, again, this is a full circle as we come up to the crown and the space above the head, we began our drop in here tonight with a meditation and sitting together in that deep stillness
but as we come to the Crown to complete our our podcast journey for the evening,
I just want to ask where you think this energy of creation even comes from?
Who?
Quincee: [01:09:00] And the mystery. It's the mystery bonus round. It's the mystery
bonus round.
Hannah: Yeah. It's definitely not of this 3D realm.
A big part of my journey is reclaiming the word God. Such a activating word. For many people, and myself included, but it's just a word to encapsulate the all that is. And you have this creative energy that comes. Comes
from outside and within, I suppose, coming within us
that, that consciousness field that has all infinite possibilities and we just tune our frequency into something and it comes down in a thought form, and then it's up to us to create it into the physical.
Yeah, that, that void energy, right? The infinite void isn't empty, it's [01:10:00] just, it's got everything in it. It's just up to us to tune in. And pick something up and bring it down. And,
where that is, it's outside of physical reality. I don't know. Mm-hmm. The infinite question, the great mystery. ,
But I think it's something that we go back into. , Reminds me of the, the project that me and Ash came up with in this down the walking each other home music series is all about that. I think we're just walking each other home. I mean, that's a phrase that comes from Ram Das, but it's just felt so true to me.
Um, we're going back to that creative infinite everything,
Quincee: as Ramdas would say. [01:11:00] Ah, so, ah, so
I just had a flashback to sitting in inipi ceremony with you a few months ago in Oregon, and this feels like a really beautiful kind of conclusion to , the womb space that we entered that day.
Mm-hmm.
Quincee: And that we find ourselves in here again and. I feel the prayers that were shared in that inipi lodge that day threaded through this moment too, and I can feel us looking back on the women who were in that lodge and the women who were in that lodge looking forward at us with so much recognition and like love.
Hannah: Yeah.
Quincee: And compassion and gratitude
and yeah, just so grateful for [01:12:00] you Hannah. And so excited for more. I know that this is the first of so many big, expansive conversations that we'll have that shift us.
Oh yeah.
Quincee: It's not started. I mean, it's definitely not the first conversation we've had that goes this deep, but the first recorded, I guess.
Yeah. I'm sure we'll record more and, um, that there will just be more ceremony and more ritual and more expansion and more upgrade. And I love thinking about the future versions of us maybe doing this again, looking back on us now with so much love and compassion being like, oh, like so much. Yes, yes.
They love us and they do it for us. Yeah. The same way we do it for our 14-year-old selves. So true. So just to feel this sense of, of our, our past and [01:13:00] future versions here in this moment, holding us and revering us with gratitude and love and yes. Present day. Quincy loves you. 14-year-old Quincy loves you and Grandma Quincy loves you so much.
Hannah. Same. Same. Thank you so much. Same. You so freaking much.
Hannah: So grateful that our souls found each other in this lifetime and we get to hopefully Yeah. Ride out the rest of it together. I am so grateful for you. Yeah, so grateful.
Quincee: My eyemask has so many tears on it. Oh, alright. Can't wait to end this so I can hug you.
Okay. Love you. Until next time.
Thank you for journeying with me into the Fertile Vision Seed Podcast. From this space, it's my hope that the whisper of inspiration may take root and aid you in your creative path. If this episode resonated with you, I invite you to share it, leave a review, and follow along with us on social [01:14:00] media.
Until next time, keep dancing in the dark and cultivating the seeds of your creative vision. Bye-bye.
