5. Dr. Ori Howard: Consciousness as a Force of Creative Healing
00:00 Introduction to Dr. Ori Howard
00:34 Setting the Scene: A Cozy Conversation
00:58 Exploring the Third Eye: Inner Vision and Sensation
02:24 Roots of Creativity: Ori's Early Inspirations
07:52 Balancing Art Forms: Ceramics, Writing, and Drawing
09:34 Sacral Creativity: Sensuality and Passion in Art
13:11 Solar Plexus: Nourishment and Digestion
23:06 Homeopathy and the Essence of Plants
39:41 Heartfelt Connections: Love for Plants and Healing
40:22 Advocacy and Empowerment in Medicine
44:05 Future Visions: Family and Caregiving
45:18 Crowning Thoughts: The Magic of Creative Caregiving
Thank you, dear friend, for journeying into the void with me. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it and rate it. More information about Visionseed, including the oracle deck, course and more can be found on Instagram (@ _visionseed_), on Youtube (@visionseedarts), on Tiktok @visionseed and on Facebook (Visionseed). May you forever open.
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5. Dr. Ori Howard: Consciousness as a Force of Creative Healing
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[00:00:00]
Quincee: In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Ori Howard. Ori is a new naturopathic trans doctor that roots their work in love. Ore's life work is to be an active tender in personal, environmental, social, and global relationships. They're particularly focused on the intersection between these fields and what it means to build home within them.
A deep love for the ecology that we are all a part of. Consciousness as medicine in the interrelationality of being. The topics that we explore in this episode, I'll see you there.
Ori and I are sitting in the dark in our house, in our roommate's closet. We're in the closet and passing back and forth a hot water bottle because we are really enjoying the warmth of that right now. I've really fallen in love and taken to carrying around a hot water bottle in my pants. And just really wintering hard here in Portland. So Ori [00:01:00] The way that I structure the podcast and move through is ascending up the chakra system But before we do that we start with the third eye with the Ajna and When we're here in the third eye center, it's very simple and we start our podcast By just opening inner vision to the body.
And I would love to ask you, as you sit here in the dark, where the area of most sensation in your body is right now, in this moment. Where is the area of most sensation? What is the color, texture, and form of the area of most sensation in your body as we sit?
Ori: I love that question. My thoracic spine, it's like the muscles, all the intricate muscles around my T 4 to [00:02:00] T6. They just slowly contracted while we were sitting and it was so nice to give myself a little permission to put the hot water bottle on my back instead of just like struggle through it.
So it's changed in color and texture a lot in the last year. Five minutes with a hot water bottle, but right now
It feels purple
Quincee: okay we're gonna begin in the root, and this is a place I'm really excited to be with you, because a lot of our chats that inspired us to come here and sit down to podcast together were having to do with, the biomorphic process. nature of plants and the way that their structure, determines their function and the beautiful fluidity between structure and function that exists in the plant world.
Roots were a part of that conversation. Would [00:03:00] you be willing to point to and trace over the roots of your creative experience? And so just sharing a little bit about your background, help us get oriented about you as a creative mind and as a Yeah, as a being on this planet right now.
What is the form of Ori right now? So many beautiful, complex questions. I'm really rattling them off. Hopefully for a deep exploration.
Ori: I think the first thing that came to mind of like the root, like the first like deep memory I have of Kind of a spark of
Just like awe at the world. It just shoots me back to that moment of being in my grandparents backyard , and just lying in the grass as a kid, and for the first time really seeing grass, and seeing it in all its beauty.[00:04:00]
And noticing each individual being, because each leaf is its own presence, and its own root system, and they all sit together, and they're all just taking in light, and reflecting it back out, and just shook me. And, Brought me this deep sense of peace, and inspiration at the same time.
And I feel multiple times, the many times I like, find myself in a similar environment where I'm surrounded by grass, or grains, and the sun's hitting them, the sun's hitting me, and I just get to Admire, the way that they are. And their stillness and their radiance. They literally take in the sun's radiance and shine it back out.
Yeah that's where I feel the most creative sometimes, just in [00:05:00] observing how beautiful things are around me.
Quincee: I love to explore the idea that the way of seeing could in itself be creative. Like before we even jump into action, before we even pick up a pen or a brush or an instrument that our very perspective is already enough.
And I think that there's something really deep and poignant about what you're saying there. Because it's also reminding me about it's calling me back to being on Vipassana, to being on silent retreat and not being allowed to create, like that being one of the rules. And when you're not allowed to pick up a pen or a brush or you're not allowed to make those expressive gestures, like [00:06:00] that.
What is creativity then? What is creativity when it's just you and your awareness and your perception of what you're beholding? And yeah, I really love where that's going. I feel like
Ori: that's like a piece of what we talked about the other day too, of like how there's this incredible creation and creativity of Just existing as a person, like each organ, creating its own systems, and creating so much just internally observing, you're taking in the world, but there's so much creation inside your eyes and in your brain that's going on you truly are art, and creation, just looking, and existing.
Quincee: This is,
Ori: yeah.
Quincee: This is already such a beautiful beginning. There's such a beautiful seed to a conversation. , but I really want [00:07:00] to move slowly and just highlight something so beautiful and special, which is that to be in creation.
And to be in creativity, we need not do anything other than simply shift our awareness to the fact that we are constantly being created and that we are constantly under the process of creation. And that's on a physiological level. And I think that you could also, ~Again, as you've done so beautifully already, you could ~zoom that out and it could be on a spiritual or metaphysical level that we're always being made and we're always making one another.
And that we're doing that through the root connection that we have to one another. As those like individual blades of grass that seem distinct, but are really connected below the surface. It's really sweet. I love that. So can you tell me a little bit about maybe just the nuts and bolts of your [00:08:00] like, when you do turn towards creating physically with your hands What do you like to create?
Ori: Think I like to create balance. I love to do ceramics, like that's my favorite form and I love to throw on the wheel. That's been like my main art form for a while. Finding a balance within a matter and, a substance that's new is always just really special, and then I feel like the other art I really love to do is, Writing and drawing.
I love doing like live drawing. I feel like I usually draw plants and people just as I see them. I think in that way the balance is like trying to find a balance of what my perception is and what they are and like having that medium be on the paper. And then with writing I feel like I'm also looking for [00:09:00] balance and creating balance with Holding space for my strongest, deepest chaotic feelings, and my like, most at peace, soft, tender, loving feelings.
And having a container where they get to create something beautiful together,
Quincee: and
Ori: something honest.
Quincee: Something beautiful and something honest.
You've already begun to, I think, predict where we're going next, which is speaking more to the sacral aspects of creativity. And when I talk about the sacral aspects of creativity there is questions or ideas of messiness or chaos or passion, but also sensuality.
And you spoke to both of those things in your response of, the tactile nature and the sensory aspect of working with clay and feeling that [00:10:00] run through your fingers and those gestures and those sensations being so important to you and creating balance and also you spoke to creating a space for in your art the messiest and darkest and most challenging to hold pieces of yourself and I feel those and see those like originating from like a more sacral place but yeah I'm curious For you, what is the most pleasing or pleasurable aspect of that balancing or that creation right now in your life?
What lights you up about art and about art as medicine and medicine as art?
Ori: I think, just the unknown and the magic. Of bodies, of like, how incredible, and yeah, how incredible bodies are in like, all forms, and [00:11:00] just how there is a deep unknown to the way that we move and create, and that unknown is beautiful, and Not meant to be known fully. ~What lights me up? ~I
mean, what lights me up the most lately is understanding my own form through dance. That's been the most present and just There's so much space within myself to explore and Love just like every spectrum of like feeling and like soreness and like release and like softness , to what I am and getting to move through that with silliness and with like deep intention has been my favorite thing.
I think it resonates with just my New Year's resolution, of just appreciating form in myself and others, and taking the time to honor my form and others forms by [00:12:00] being a really tender being for myself and for those that I support. And it brings me so much joy when it feels like It's present and rolling, and I'm in it.
Quincee: In what you're sharing that you have, an appreciation for form that extends, both into orderliness and into chaos and into, meditative static reflections on form. So you have meditative reflections on form through your ceramics process and through your figure drawing process and then you have ecstatic meditations on form through dance and movement and expression and embodiment.
And I think that's such a rich, dialectic to hold. I love form, both in its messiness and chaos, and in [00:13:00] its, orderliness, and reflective quality.
Ori: Oh, thank you. Yeah. Took a second to form. Yeah. In my mind. Yeah.
Quincee: I think we would naturally move up to the solar plexus and think about radiance and sunniness and questions around a sense of empowerment as a creative being. And there's something that you and I discussed the other day about The digestion of our experience and because we live together, questions around ~like ~food and nourishment have been really present in our conversations and are a real passion point for both of us, I think, and you as a doctor.
and someone really attuned to, the physiological nutrition and also the emotional and psychological aspects of [00:14:00] food and eating and, how that also relates to an emotional and spiritual digestion of one's process of life. I feel like you have ~a ~such an interesting and rich perspective on, this energetic center of the body.
So I'm curious, yeah if there's anything that feels like it's calling to you in that energy center that you want to share a little bit about balancing or about medicine as art and art as medicine in the center of the body.
Ori: Oh, you did such a beautiful job summarizing it, like what do I even say?
I've just been really excited about the idea, and that the way we take in food is like taking in the world, and we take in the world in so many ways, and food is one of them. And food has stories. Each piece has its own story of where it's coming from, and the plants that they come from, and the [00:15:00] animals that they come from, and just all the individual beings that create the food, but also, together,
holds so much weight in all the stories that we hold to it, and it allows us to Check in with that story in ourself and our history with the story and process it once again over and over in new forms.
I just think that's really beautiful and it gives us space to transform our stories and also nourish ourselves.
Because really food to me can be nourishing or Poisonous. Depending on like, how we see it. Cause our bodies will react very differently if we see it as a threat. If our immune system that's trying to protect us from what's written in our DNA and written in our stories is saying this is [00:16:00] poison. Does not give us the nutrients and minerals Without all the cytokines and the stress.
But then also things that are deemed as dangerous or poisonous by the outside opinions can sometimes be really nourishing and really good for our bodies. And the practice of processing our story and also getting to see not just the story of the past, But also getting a moment in the present to check in with our food and check in with ourselves of whether we're prepared and ready to enjoy bringing in the world and bringing the food and the nutrients
that are offered to us.
Quincee: As someone with that perspective, I'm curious if you have like a recommendation for, I mean as a doctor, no not the perfect diet, just what are some ways that you've found that help you digest your experience as a human being? And through your study, [00:17:00] How do we do this?
How do we digest our experience? Totally. ~How do we digest? ~How do
Ori: we digest food and our stories? I feel like you have a lot of experience in this.
I think it's leading with your heart.
Like really taking time to check in with my heart and see if it's being pulled towards or away from something.
And then if I'm curious enough and have the time to like, if I'm moving towards it, be curious and think why. And when I'm pulling away, or constricted away, just having that curiosity of why, and just getting to sit with it, getting to listen to it, and getting to talk to it, and Potentially change the story if that's in the cards.
I think leading with your heart is a big piece of digestion. Cause I don't think we [00:18:00] digest unless we want to.
Quincee: Yeah. Have to have openness or receptivity or permeability through like the throat and the heart in order for something to reach the stomach and in order for something to pass all the way through the body there needs to be like receptivity on those levels so i think yeah what you're saying is so apt and
Ori: yeah the desire the yeah The choice.
And I think that's Yeah, there's creation, and then there's digestion. Which is the decomposition of things. And like the reverse of creation. To bring things back down to their elements. To create new substance, to like, create again. I think, yeah, there's always balance.
And I feel as much as we create and write our stories, we also take the [00:19:00] time to deconstruct our stories and realize in the present moment how much is nourishing us and what we want to change.
Quincee: So are you pointing towards digestion being like The opposing force of creation or like the balance or the counterweight?
I am Would you be so bold as to say
Ori: I think it's a creation in itself to take a larger Thing and deconstruct it into the raw elements and nutrients to nourish our bodies
Quincee: Yeah It's own form of creation. Wow That's really cool. Decomposition or digestion is as creation
Ori: like our liver makes so many of our enzymes But we have to do all this internal creation to like, [00:20:00] to break things apart and recreate things ~in, ~from elemental pieces into molecules that we ~are and like ~use.
There's so much creation going on with our enzymes being made and our acids that are being created in our stomach and like the, all the creation of like stretch and release. of all of our internal muscles, there's a lot of creation in that deconstruction process.
Quincee: And, the constituent parts that, our body breaks down into smaller parts and smaller parts and ~smaller parts, and ~they are so highly specific and, utilized so perfectly. ~And ~I think that there's some really beautiful parallel between, what is happening in our bodies on a physiological level and what's happening ~on our, ~within our minds ~on a ~on a mental level [00:21:00] with how it is that we Come to a moment where we're ~like ~ready to create something.
I think as a creative being you're constantly moving through the world and absorbing and meeting new stimuli and collecting little parts and pieces ~and ~of course you're Digesting an experience on a macro level, but then you break down all of those little pieces into ~like ~very granular and ~little micro, ~microscopic fragments of data within your mind.
And then I think to come to a point where we're ready to create something artistically, we're gathering up, some of those very specific granular pieces of our lived experience and putting them back out into the world in a new form in the same way that our body does,
Ori: Reminds me of something we talked about.
The other day, too, around how, for me that [00:22:00] process of taking in the world and taking in, yeah, just like how beautiful that grass was, or the things that really inspire me they're like little, There's things that inspire me and I take them in and then I see myself in them a little bit.
And everything can everything kind of feels like a potential reflection of yourself in some form. And I feel like digestion is interesting in that, where everything breaks down into the same elements and can be reconstructed into a version of you. I don't know if that quite makes sense, but there's something about the digestion experiences and food where it's processed down to something that feels like something you can create with. into the elements that like, allow you your [00:23:00] creation and your reflection given the media and the substance that like, inspired you.
Quincee: How does homeopathy fit into that?
Ori: Oh yeah, homeopathy. The way homeopathy working was explained to me is that there's a presence in a bean, like a plant, and it is, when you take it in, like in its full force, like you just eat a leaf of this plant it would usually make you so like angry and start sweating and have a fever and your blood pressure goes up.
And so you don't usually have this plant in its like full form, but if your personality and the way you're moving through the world just looks like that without this plant, like you just are always angry and always overheated and you're always just like yelling and you don't know why it's happening you take in this [00:24:00] super super diluted version of this plant that's like below even Avogadro's number.
So it's just like the essence of something. The essence of this presence and you bring it into your body and it like reflects to you that same energy so it can look at itself and then together they can be released.
Yeah, it's so incredible. And it's really cool, and it can, yeah, it's been around for a very long time, and, and
Quincee: this isn't just for angry, it's for, any myriad of symptoms, right?
Ori: They're like caricatures. Like a way of being that has these ten things that are consistent.
And in this kind of caricature do you fit this caricature? And the caricatures are like, there's, I don't know. Like at least a thousand.
So yeah, you get to find your little avatar and then match it. It [00:25:00] feels like ~a fun game. It is ~a fun game. I think medicine is often fun.
It's a lot of puzzles. Yeah. Puzzles.
Quincee: ~And you named, ~and your creative practice really. enjoying creating balance. And I don't have that much experience with medicine, but I read this book called the web that has no weaver. Maybe you're familiar. It's about traditional Chinese medicine and it absolutely blew my mind in the opening chapters because it talked a lot about medicine as an art form.
~And ~In traditional Chinese medicine, the artist, or rather, the doctor, the healer is an artist because they are concerned with and passionate about creating balance in a system. And approaching those puzzles with a lot of [00:26:00] curiosity and openness and a willingness to flow with what is arising. And I love that about, yeah, what you're sharing.
~Do you think that do you think that being a, I don't know, ~do you think that medicine is a creative act? Or could be approached as a creative act?
Ori: I think anything can be a creative act. Depending on the way that you see yourself and the way that, you are interpreted, I think that's always an interesting and beautiful thing to me about, artists and, ~yeah, ~all the artists that I love, truly just existing is ~being, like, ~being an artist ~and ~There is creation, of course, but the way that you move and the way that you hold space.
We're never in a vacuum. We're always intertwined with everything around us. And so all of our movements and all the ways we listen [00:27:00] and speak and move, impact. Our ecosystems, and to be an intentional tender in the ecosystems that we are in a certain way, is ~like, ~being an artist to me.
So I think you can do anything. ~Yeah. In that perspective. Yeah. ~I'm curious. I don't know if you can ~like, I don't know, ~collect taxes. With a creative perspective.
Quincee: ~Yeah. ~It's a good challenge. ~Why not at least try, one of my, ~I have a really amazing and beautiful dance teacher
~and. ~This teacher of mine said, he says, dance the question. And I really like the idea of in our creative act, paint the question, dance the question, create the question. And rather than sit in contemplation play with it. If you have some sort of query around. How something might play out, just play it out [00:28:00] and see what's there.
And when we frame creativity in that way, then science is also an art because it's experimentation, right?
Ori: Part of me wants to say that I don't feel like the scientific method always honors the forms. Honors the people, and individuals, and I think it's like science as a whole isn't necessarily art cause I don't think it always holds the intention of that curiosity and in that way of honor and like in that way of like creation necessarily, but I think it can. I think you're so right that it can. But I think it's a science is a whole subject.
~It's I think to have art and creation you have to have that subject. ~The subjectivity has to be from a heart. [00:29:00] From a person in the, Yeah.
But I think they can blend. ~Definitely. ~
Quincee: It might help to add that That dance teacher was Greek. Very Socratic method or very, inquiry based learning mode in terms of the way that he approaches the question, which I love.
I am, I'm wanting to like tap in with like your connection to herbal medicine and plants. And like the creative life force energy of plants. And just if there's anything deeper that you would feel called to share about that, I know you already talked about the blades of grass and the, just a wonder and awe that you felt looking at and beholding those plants.
But I feel like there's something really deep in your heart with plants and [00:30:00] The other night when we were talking about them, I was like, almost moved to tears listening to you talk about your connection to the herbs as allies for healing. ~I don't know. ~
Ori: ~You so much. Thank you.~
Yeah, it brings me so much joy. So much joy and it just warms my heart to hear how much you see and hear me. Just like in passing through our week. Of course.
It's just really easy to fall in love with a plant. It just feels like the easiest thing to do. To just admire. ~The presence, I'm like, the, yeah, ~the presence of
my dandelion, and it's also so easy to never look at them.
I guess dandelions, what a story. ~Tell me! Yeah, just, like, how they're not part of this I don't know. Long, longer term history of this ecosystem. They're like brought over from like Europe And so many other plants almost like oh my god, I don't even know Like most of the plants around us like have such a long history of like allyship and like Mutual creation and support with people.~
Just like each good dandelion. The leaves, especially, but, ~and ~the roots, are just very powerful, beautiful medicine. The roots are so nutritious, and roasted are just very warming to the system. Really good for just like detoxifying the body [00:31:00] and specifically the blood.
It has this like yellow bright warmth that it also does bring into the body and like warmly detoxifies. Yeah, it's just very beautiful and very abundant and brightens the body. The whole world up in the winter. And also has this history of like movement through an ecosystem that like takes over space in ways that like other plants used to be present and have like less numbers now. ~Yeah, there's just complicated beautiful history of like almost every plant around us.~
We have our stories and our histories, and so do plants, and they are often tied to us. ~And yeah. I guess I just, yeah, ~I guess I just really love them. I don't know. I'm excited to learn more. I feel like that's another fun thing about plants. ~Like people, but. There's just ~there's just so many plants, and we're still learning so much about how we interact and [00:32:00] how we affect each other.
And how powerful of medicine they can be in different doses, in different forms. We're still learning, and there's a long history of use and tending, and There's so much more that we can do to tend and support the ecosystems around us in each individual plant by learning their history and learning the way that we have in the past tended and ways that we can shift and tend in new ways.
Quincee: One thing that is coming to mind is we, as Humans have one defined lineage of intelligence and of knowing and I think it's just so Humbling and awe inspiring to consider the way that's been passed down over millions of years and is so distinct to us.
But then to remember that every single species on the planet, or every [00:33:00] being, has an equally rich and long history, as you were naming. And every being has its own language and its own way of Taking in information in its own way of processing information and communicating and communing with the space around it.
And that it's so sacred to be able to behold a plant in all of its richness and in all of its history and its past and its story. And ~I think Yeah, I think that ~our conversation the other night ~like ~naturally led towards ~like ~plant medicine for that reason ~like ~Not just in entheogenic medicines or psychedelic medicines, but ~The ~communing with plants and taking a plant into your body Allows you ~I think maybe ~to glimpse into the history of that plant or into the lineage of that Being.
Ori: Absolutely. Yeah. And you feel it immediately. You see the mutual history and the mutual tending [00:34:00] through how you already know how it's gonna taste and like the taste and texture and the way. The sugar hits your body, and all of a sudden you're so hyped up with a sweet potato.
~Or, ~the way it really grounds you and ~like ~calms you down and brings you down to yourself and where you need to settle with ~like ~chamomile tea for me, the history is so rich and the history becomes present as soon as you Bring it in.
Quincee: When we look at the structure of a plant, how does that help us understand Their medicine. ~That's a~
~great question. I~
Ori: mean, there's so much you can learn from
seeing a plant. I've had teachers describe plants having different qualities based on ~their~
Their overall structure, and like their [00:35:00] particular leaf structure. ~What it was described to me Sit. Relax.~
~Sorry. It's okay. Okay. What ~was described to me was that there is something to learn ~and something to ~About the distribution ~of ~of structure in a plant. Some plants have really long, strong roots. And the smallest little, flower and petals and stem. And those can often be ones that are very, building and ~very ~rooting to, the system.
And there's ones with very tiny roots that are very ~miniscule ~and the largest flowers. And those are often thought of as petty. Like the, ~yeah, like more, ~more neurologic, ~maybe, ~acting ones. And then ones with a lot of power and energy in ~there. ~Leaves ~in there ~are often maybe more ~like ~organ based, functionality, like bringing in the light, making it into energy, like [00:36:00] metabolic.
I don't think that's ~like ~a strict thing, but something that was ~like ~a soft, Structure to think around plants about.
And then also the structure of the leaves itself. Some are, ~like, ~sharp and, jagged. And those often are more the fiery, warmer ones.
Ones that are more square are often more, earthy. And the ones that are shaped like in then out then back in, they're like airy. I don't think it's a strict thing, but I think it's something to get a sense, ~see yeah. ~That's what Fig has to say about that. And then the color of the petals.
Blue, sometimes the idea is like, can be more cooling, and like oranges and yellows more like brightening and stimulating maybe do not want to say that's an absolute, but I [00:37:00] think I do see a pattern of that. Often that isn't a hundred percent, but I, yeah, I think it's a beautiful way to recognize and resonate with plants.
It's like a fun tool to try when starting to like, have more communication and care and awareness around connecting with new plants that you don't know. ~This has me thinking ~
Quincee: ~about,~
I don't know I've been thinking a lot about how vibration creates form. Have you ever seen those schladney plates or the cymatics before? So cymatic theory or cymatic studies are all about how vibration turns into form, ~and so ~I guess I think about the way that exists on a plant level. There is a vibrational [00:38:00] frequency that every plant species has that, ~who knows if it's fully responsible for the form that it takes, but ~informs and is informed by the form of the plant.
And when we ingest that plant we are communing with that vibrational frequency that the plant was created on and co created with. And it changes our vibrational frequency in turn, ~yes. What is it? What is? What is? Tell me what is. ~
Ori: ~There's ~this cool thing where, I forget what the like lineage of medicine was that did this, but, they steamed different plants and then it would create an image above the plant and ~like ~with the same plant it would keep creating the same image and so it was ~like yeah it was like ~this like energetic print of the plant ~and ~I don't know how ~like ~accurate it was ~and how ~but ~It was, ~that just blew my mind and I would love to dig into that more and see if that was ~like, ~consistent,
that's pretty mind blowing. ~Because it blew my mind. ~I definitely [00:39:00] need to ~like, ~do more research around it, but having my teacher be like, Yep, this is the ~like, ~energetic print of the plant once ~you like, consistent for plant for if ~you consistently steamed this plant in different ways.
Yeah, different times. Wow. ~Which is really cool. It's really powerful. They're really~
Quincee: beautiful. I'm sure. ~Yeah. ~I wanna see them. ~Yeah. ~I wonder where I can see those and what they're called. ~Yeah. ~I will look them up. ~Yeah. And send~
Ori: them your way. ~I think you'd like it. ~
Quincee: Sounds really right up my alley.
Ori: But yeah, I really love ~that ~the ~like, ~idea of, energy. And matter, and that space in between that is more of a gradient than I feel like we've talked about a little bit before.
Yeah, very cool. I love those things.
Quincee: ~Wow.~
I think we've already started to move our way up through the heart. I feel like we've been talking about the things ~that, that we, ~that you love and that you base your, creative and healing exploration on, like this communication with and [00:40:00] reverence for plants and this love for their teaching and their wisdom and their healing.
And that's all felt very verdant and green and of the heart. Now, really, all we have left is throat on up and curious ~if there, yeah, ~if there's anything that you hope to, ~say, ~express, or advocate for through your work in this world.
Ori: I see how I've stepped into this role of being a doctor is a huge amount of power and privilege in the world, and I have always felt very determined to, advocate. For all forms of the oppressed, truly no one is free until we are all free. And now I have more power and privilege to do so I think I've been thinking about that quite a bit this week of what is advocacy in this new [00:41:00] place that I'm in?
What does deconstructing the patriarchy and being anti racist and deconstructing yeah, just capitalist structures mean within this new role? What is my capacity and desire in that? And that is something that is still being formed, I think. But, I think today, in ~this current,~
this current political ecosystem, there is
a lot of people in fear, and a lot of people that are being
I'm hunted right now. I think being a doctor, being a primary caregiver,
being someone who is a main support system [00:42:00] to your body and your mind. Living in a world that can be very harsh and very hurtful. And what I can do in the role of primary care to advocate for each of my patients and myself. To bolster up and empower and bring joy to being trans and queer like I am.
And also to being, ~yeah, ~the beautiful people that I get to work with. ~And It's, and, yeah, ~I guess just helping people find that balance and that joy and that empowerment in themselves is the main goal that I have on top of advocating in all the ways that I can with the loud voice that I have as a doctor now.
Quincee: It's such a beautiful thing. intention and such a beautiful vision. And I'm so glad I got to ask you that question because ~I don't think I, ~I [00:43:00] don't think I totally knew. It's so sweet to learn that. ~Yeah, and as you speak here, I can really feel, I can feel like the,~
just the charge there. The like, passion and the drive. ~I think I. ~I touched it a little bit earlier today when I asked you about working with the patient that you were with today, and yeah, just to get a little bit more perspective on your why is so rich, and I know that being guided by that heart of service in your exploration as both as a creative person and as a doctor and as a creatively seeing healer ~Will be so beneficial to everyone who you get to work with ~And it gets the honor of yeah coming to you for care Because I think you have that creative Perspective when coming into contact with another being of like How can I know you and How can I serve [00:44:00] you?
It's so beautiful. Thank you. That's so kind. Yeah.
Okay we did already really talk about your vision what is like the big project on your horizon that is Yeah, that like twinkles and that like when you think about it, you're like, oh, I can't wait to create that someday.
Maybe you can come back and listen to this in several years and be like, I did it! Or maybe it can serve as a reminder to go do it.
Ori: ~Yeah, I guess just biting my tongue a little bit. ~I'm like, the first word that came to mind is family.
Family as in chosen family.
Bringing in people that we have, like a net of like care and support and presence. ~Yeah, I think that's like a big, I, yeah, ~I feel like becoming a doctor is, and getting to, be a caretaker in this world is the ~other ~one that I've been working towards for a long time. But when you said, what's the next big [00:45:00] project, I was like, I think it's been a long goal, and it's continuing to be a really beautiful, enjoyable, goal to get to be, a caretaker.
Quincee: Beautiful. ~Ah,~
~yeah. ~And just as we wrap up, I think the only question that I really have left is ~related to~
I don't know, just crown and spirit and a curiosity around what compels you to do all of this? ~To ~what do you devote this experience of creative caregiving and generative caregiving and tending to not only your experience but The experience of other beings and plants and ~Yeah, ~folks under your care.
~Like~
What gives you the audacity? Yeah, who do I serve? Yeah, what gives me the audacity? I was born with it. ~Dang. Yeah, I think~
Ori: I guess It's just [00:46:00] that like Magic that flows through everything. That has given me the honor to ~like, ~witness it. And be part of
magic. Yeah. It's got so many names. But,
I don't really have a clear name for it. That's okay. ~Yeah. ~Yeah. I just, it just makes me smile, it's not like sad or, it's a feeling, it's unknown. Yeah. ~Yeah, ~it's like a little nudge of the way everything around me settles in a certain way when I think about it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that, that was a thousand names and a thousand faces. ~Yeah. ~Yeah. And much more. But. Yeah, the place that gives us the energy and the power. And we just send it right back. [00:47:00] And, yeah, I think to be a creative being is to be in continuous cyclical dialogue with that, that vast mysterious unknown. And every time it sends something to you, you receive it.
You can ~have a fit. ~Have a fit, observe it, and send it back. Yeah.
I think that, ~Mary Oliver. It's funny, yeah, I thought, I was about to say Mary Oliver, and I was like, Ah, it's not just Mary Oliver, but ~Mary Oliver is ~such a,~
such a teacher. ~Such a, ~such a mentor to me and I think just a countless amount of people. Yes.
Quincee: I think that there's a poem that's something close to the rules for life are to live it, be astonished, and then tell about it. And I'm thinking about that as we finish our conversation simply.
~receive the energy, be a channel for that creative life force energy. ~Witness it ~in your, ~in yourself and in your life and then tell about the wonder, and that really brings me back to the very beginning of our [00:48:00] conversation of you like observing those blades of grass, like that is something so seemingly mundane.
But what changed it all is your astonishment and your willingness to share thank you so much for sitting in the dark with me on a Sunday night and telling me a little bit more about, ~yeah, ~what it's like to be you and your experience as a creative being, ~and that's all. ~Thank you so much for having me and wanting to talk.
Oh my gosh, my joy.
